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Characters who really suck at their jobs

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    Characters who really suck at their jobs

    1. Captain Turbot, Paw Patrol
    The world's worst marine biologist. Academic ability aside, his mastery of his boat and mini-submarine are so poor that he regularly has to be rescued. By a group of puppies.

    2. Jack McGee, The Incredible Hulk
    He had five whole seasons to implicate David Banner. A cynic might say he was not cut out to be an investigative reporter. Either that, or he had compromising footage of his editor.

    #2
    Fireman Sam. Tried to put out an electrical fire with a hose. Idiot. Cowboy Sam, more like.

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      #3
      Windy Miller - in charge of the mill, got tanked up on rocket fuel cider and fell asleep.

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        #4
        James Bond - flash clothes, flash car, flash gadgets. Drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney. Sleeps around, shoots everyone, destruction in his wake.

        Hardly the congruous anonymity you want from a secret agent.
        Last edited by 3 Colours Red; 25-05-2021, 14:16.

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          #5
          Boba Fett - bounty hunter? He never captures or kills anyone, does he?

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            #6
            The continued operation of Vulture Squadron (Dastardly, Muttley et al) is a constant source of mystery.

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              #7
              Hamilton Burger; there's a rumour that he won a case against Perry Mason.

              Office Dibble; spends his entire time down an alleyway talking to cats.

              The Daleks; just shoot Doctor Who when you have the chance.

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                #8
                Originally posted by Stumpy Pepys View Post
                1. Captain Turbot, Paw Patrol
                The world's worst marine biologist. Academic ability aside, his mastery of his boat and mini-submarine are so poor that he regularly has to be rescued. By a group of puppies.

                2. Jack McGee, The Incredible Hulk
                He had five whole seasons to implicate David Banner. A cynic might say he was not cut out to be an investigative reporter. Either that, or he had compromising footage of his editor.
                That's probably an accurate portrayal of academics who get big grants to buy equipment they cannot handle.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by 3 Colours Red View Post
                  Boba Fett - bounty hunter? He never captures or kills anyone, does he?
                  Sure he did.
                  There's a whole backstory outside the films.

                  More to the point, he was the only one who caught on to Han Solo's "hide in the trash" gambit in ESB. He tracked them to Cloud City and helped Vader capture Han Solo and then took him to Jabba and got paid.

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by 3 Colours Red View Post
                    James Bond - flash clothes, flash car, flash gadgets. Drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney. Sleeps around, shoots everyone, destruction in his wake.

                    Hardly the congruous anonymity you want from a secret agent.
                    You can't really argue against his success rate. It's just that he displays none of the qualities or methods you'd associate with a spy.

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                      #11
                      James Bond isn't really a spy, is he? More of an "operative" or perhaps just an assassin.

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by 3 Colours Red View Post
                        James Bond - flash clothes, flash car, flash gadgets. Drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney. Sleeps around, shoots everyone, destruction in his wake.

                        Hardly the congruous anonymity you want from a secret agent.
                        Also - tells everyone his name.

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                          #13
                          Mr Gruber. Nice bloke but the antiques hardly seem to be flying out of the shop. Never seen him on Bargain Hunt or Antiques Road Trip either.

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by Hot Pepsi View Post
                            James Bond isn't really a spy, is he? More of an "operative" or perhaps just an assassin.
                            Well, secret agent maybe (although there's obviously a book called The Spy Who Loved Me).

                            But a secret agent should do some spying, surely? Not just punch people and cause mayhem?

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                              #15
                              James Bond’s expenses will never not be hilarious.

                              http://twitter.com/edmorrish/status/899292632681205761

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                                #16
                                Pretty much all of the Hazzard County Police Department.

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                                  #17
                                  Larry Vaughn

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                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by Ginger Yellow View Post

                                    Also - tells everyone his name.
                                    Or does he? I like the theory that James Bond is just a cover name and that's why there have been so many different ones.

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                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by Stumpy Pepys View Post

                                      Well, secret agent maybe (although there's obviously a book called The Spy Who Loved Me).

                                      But a secret agent should do some spying, surely? Not just punch people and cause mayhem?
                                      I thought that referred to the woman in the story.

                                      M16 employs all kinds of operatives, I suppose.

                                      As the "license to kill" implies, his main job is to kill bad guys.

                                      A kid I knew growing up insisted that his uncle had a license to kill. Carried it in his wallet, apparently. Every neighborhood had kids that made up shit like that.

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                                        #20
                                        Originally posted by Stumpy Pepys View Post
                                        Pretty much all of the Hazzard County Police Department.
                                        There were only three of them. But on a related note, Sheriff Buford T Justice. I was going to say his brothers Gaylord and Reggie, but considering that they managed to get a lot of police and their cars from Texas and Canada faster than humanly possible, I might let them off. Or considering that they all got smashed up, maybe not.

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                                          #21
                                          Originally posted by Hot Pepsi View Post

                                          Or does he? I like the theory that James Bond is just a cover name and that's why there have been so many different ones.
                                          The last two films blew apart that idea.

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                                            #22
                                            Imperial Stormtroopers have famously rubbish aim.

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                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by Snake Plissken View Post

                                              The last two films blew apart that idea.
                                              They seem to.
                                              And yet, the same M carried over from the Pierce Brosnan films, so that lent some support to all that.

                                              Some people won't let it go.
                                              https://whatwouldbaledo.com/2015/02/...is-a-codename/
                                              Last edited by Hot Pepsi; 25-05-2021, 16:35.

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                                                #24
                                                Originally posted by Hot Pepsi View Post
                                                I like the theory that James Bond is just a cover name and that's why there have been so many different ones.
                                                It may be, but if they all have the same cover name, it's not much good as a cover.

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                                                  #25
                                                  And how did Henderson, Our Man in Japan get himself killed then pop up later looking absolutely nothing like Donald Pleasance or Telly Savalas?

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