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    American mums having naked baths with their daught

    ers

    So, I just watched Dark Water on telly, which isn't bad, as modern horror movies go. Even if the three main messages of it seemed to be 1) "Hey, middle class people! Whatever you do, don't move to a poorer area and live in rented property, because Bad Things will happen", 2) "Unionised workers are at best troublesome, and at worst evil.", and 3) "The only things worse than unionised workers are people who are a bit overweight and eat sandwiches at their desks, gamble on horse racing, or go to cinemas alone".

    The thing that alarmed me most of all, far more than anything to do with the Shining-style ghost-child, was the brief scene in which the mum has a naked bath with her approx 5 year old daughter, like it's the most normal thing in the world.

    Is that sort of thing considered appropriate in the States? In fact, is that sort of thing considered appropriate anywhere?

    #2
    American mums having naked baths with their daught

    .

    I think that's the most appropriate and, dare I say it, lovely thing in any culture - natural physical contact with your nippers. It would be abnormal NOT to be able to have a bath with your kids.

    Or am I being very wrong?

    .

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      #3
      American mums having naked baths with their daught

      Not just wrong, but an absolute freak who should be visited by the social services with the utmost urgency.

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        #4
        American mums having naked baths with their daught

        Yeah, I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds that kind of thing a little ...creepy!

        (If it wasn't for the recent acquisition of a cat, this would almost be the final proof that SR and I were indeed separated at birth! The cat kind of balances all the other things out, though. But I digress...)

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          #5
          American mums having naked baths with their daught

          I also think it's creepy (I also think breastfeeding an older toddler is creepy too).

          And no, it's not something that is commonly done here, at least not amongst the people I know anything about.

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            #6
            American mums having naked baths with their daught

            I don't think you're being wrong at all, Erwin. It would be considered perfectly normal over here, too, but then the Germans are quite stridently un-uptight when it comes to that sort of thing.

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              #7
              American mums having naked baths with their daught

              My wife bathed with my son when he was young. I wouldn't, but I thought it was rather lovely and entirely non-creepy that they did. And neither wore clothes in the bath, which might freak out those with an inner Tobias F√ľnke.

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                #8
                American mums having naked baths with their daught

                Alderman, Erwin, feel free to call me uptight, just as I'll feel free to call you disgusting hippies, but the bottom line is that there are surely plenty of ways of bonding with your kids which do not involve exposing your flaps/nips/bell-end/arsecrack to them at an age where they're already going to school, holding fluent conversations and forming enduring memories.

                I'm glad to know I'm not alone on this. Mrs Rhino and I were watching the film last night, and when that scene popped up in the montage of what a good mum the heroine is and what a wonderful mother/daughter relationship they have, we both simultaneously exclaimed "WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING???"

                *shudder*

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                  #9
                  American mums having naked baths with their daught

                  Not for the first time, SR's fundamental intolerance to People Who Are Different From Him becomes apparent.

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                    #10
                    American mums having naked baths with their daught

                    Not for the first time, Toro's unerring ability to scurry around the board, butting into threads to pick fights with people becomes apparent.

                    (Though by posting this, I'm doing exactly the same thing)

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                      #11
                      American mums having naked baths with their daught

                      It's pretty normal in Finland, I think. The nakedness being in the sauna rather than the bath, because houses don't generally have baths here. Is the nakendness the problem here, or the close bodily contact that comes from being in the bath together?

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                        #12
                        American mums having naked baths with their daught

                        I'm with Erwin. Where's the problem? I regularly have naked baths with someone else's mum, and I'm well older than five.

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                          #13
                          American mums having naked baths with their daught

                          Also, SR = Michelle Bass.

                          NO NAKED JACUZZIS

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                            #14
                            American mums having naked baths with their daught

                            I think it's perfectly ok. Not something that happens in the Baroudeur household due to the practicalities of a small bath and the fact that you're too bloody busy at bathtime to consider getting in yourself but surely the danger is that you are sexualising a 5 year old if you worry about these things too much. Same thing as them running around naked at the beach in my mind, no biggie.

                            When I say 'you' I mean society by the way. Not implying anything about you personally!

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                              #15
                              American mums having naked baths with their daught

                              If this was another messageboard, one would expect a ton of links to "mother" and "daughter" porn videos.

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                                #16
                                American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                Sorry on my other computer today...I mean (ahem) yes how refreshing to not be bombarded with such material!

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                                  #17
                                  American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                  The problem I have with it is this - and this is a serious question that I think deserves a serious answer:

                                  If one is having naked baths with one's just-about-school-age offspring, how do you teach them - in a way that a five year old can understand - that just because it's okay for one authority-figure to get naked with them, it isn't okay for any other authority-figures in the rest of life to get naked with them? And if you try to reason with them (a five year old) about it, how do you impress upon them what the cut-off point is? Are they allowed to get naked with their uncles and aunties? Their new uncle-in-law? Their older cousins several times removed?

                                  Children don't understand the intricacies of what constitutes 'beautiful thing, man' and what constitutes a horrible crime. Surely, isn't it easier just to resist your powerful (but beautiful) urges to get naked with your children from the start, so that the line is drawn in a clear and absolute way? Or might "getting naked with kids is a beautiful thing" be an adequate alibi in court when it's your own kids who have had someone - possibly a previously trusted someone - get naked with them?

                                  This isn't about 'people being different to me' - this is about how one applies logic to child-rearing.

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                                    #18
                                    American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                    Erm, hang on a minute. When I go swimming I have a sauna, and there are often 5 year old children in the sauna at my local pool. You have to be naked: steamed chlorine isn't that nice, and the cleaning ladies have been known to barge in and shout at people not adhering to the rules.

                                    I mean, is this a nakedness thing or is it about 'inappropriate touching'? If it's the nakedness then there is something a little bit brass eye-esque about objecting to it.

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                                      #19
                                      American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                      "Scurry"? charming as ever, E10.

                                      I'm happy to say I apply a double standard. Excessively sanctimonious people are going to get called on this shit.

                                      Tell me why he's right, and you might have a point. After all, the difference between my "scurrying" shit-stirring post and yours was that I identified a substantive error, yours was merely ad hominem.

                                      It's hard to remember a post of yours concerning me that hasn't been, mind, so don't imagine me wracked by astonishment here.

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                                        #20
                                        American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                        Spearmint Rhino wrote:
                                        but the bottom line is that there are surely plenty of ways of bonding with your kids which do not involve exposing your flaps/nips/bell-end/arsecrack to them at an age where they're already going to school, holding fluent conversations and forming enduring memories.
                                        So let me get this straight, we should be hiding our bodies from our children?

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                                          #21
                                          American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                          I never had a bath naked with my mum outside of toddlerdom nor am I greatly tempted to do so with an hypothetical kid of mine but that's because I'm a bit uptight about those kind of things. Parents who can bath with their young kids are far better balanced individuals than me (for that particular stuff only obviously).

                                          EvilC, I don't know how to say that without sounding a bit harsh, but that's the kind of stuff I expect a Daily Mail reader to come up with. A natural, unrestrained relationship with your kid is a no-no because this might scramble their sense of danger and they could end up pray to a paedophile...? Come on mate, that's paranoid crap and the only logic to it is one of fear.

                                          The original japanese was much better anyhow...

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                                            #22
                                            American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                            It wouldn't work as an alibi because they'd be with someone else's kids.

                                            It's a fair question and I'll try to explain my position with the proviso that this is built up over time and I never actually sat down and worked it out. From my personal experience I would say that they are not going to be in that position of trust with someone for a long time yet so they will be older and understand a lot more. It's also the fact that (and yes I do do my utmost to protect against the possibility of it happening to my children) the scenario you've described is an incredibly rare event and you have to make decisions of the 'am I going to stop life to stop this happening' sort. My eldest has just learnt to ride a bike, am I ever going to let her go outside as I know that she could go in the road? That sort of thing. I'm not saying that a naked bath is on the 'must do' list of life experiences but you see what I mean? Honestly, I never even thought of it in the way you described above.

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                                              #23
                                              American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                              If my mother had hopped into the bath with me when I was a nipper, I would have run for the hills.

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                                                #24
                                                American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                                Substantive error?

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                                                  #25
                                                  American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                                  Tell me why he's right, and you might have a point. After all, the difference between my "scurrying" shit-stirring post and yours was that I identified a substantive error, yours was merely ad hominem.

                                                  It's hard to remember a post of yours concerning me that hasn't been, mind, so don't imagine me wracked by astonishment here.
                                                  Well Toro, you made a huge leap in extrapolating from SR's ickyness about this subject a much more fundamental intolerance of "people who aren't like him". Which might want a bit of substantiation on your part, I reckon.

                                                  And I don't post about you that often (though more than I should, granted), but if it suits your conceit to think you're forever being misinterpreted and misunderstood by lesser beings so be it. I'm out of this one. I didn't see the film after all, and I'll leave it for those who did.

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