Two films at once

[Patrick Thistle]

The Towering Dan Brown's Inferno - a brand new office block designed by Leonardo Da Vinci will burn down unless Tom Hanks can work out the code to set off the sprinklers

[Bored Of Education]

Grosse Point Blank...oh...

[Balderdasha]

The Shape of Water World - Sally Hawkins falls in love with half-fish Kevin Costner, Giles paints a map of the lost island, a floating cinema explodes.

[San Bernardhinault]

Match Point Break - Keanu Reeves and Scarlett Johannsen wear Ronald Reagan facemasks as a way in to the elevated world of surf coaches and the high-society strawberry and cream set who hang out in Laguna Beach

[Gangster Octopus]

Oh, Mr. Pret-a-Porter - Will Hay, Graham Moffatt and Moore Marriott cause mayhem at a Paris fashion show. With a steam train...

[lambers]

Any Unforgiven Sunday – William Munny has to fight for every last inch if he is to get revenge... on the American football field.

[3 Colours Red]

Dirty Weekend At Bernie's - soon after moving into her new flat, a young woman discovers that she is being spied on by the corpse of an insurance CEO being propped up by two of his former employees in an elaborate ruse to conceal his death.

[3 Colours Red]

Wall-E Street - an adorable cleaning robot starts trading on inside information under the wing of a more futuristic and sleek-looking robot.

[Gangster Octopus]

Ask A Policeman Academy - Will Hay, Graham Moffatt and Moore Marriott's utter rubbishness is rivalled by Steve Guttenberg and friends' utter rubbishness.

[Gangster Octopus]

Duck Souperman - Christopher Reeve helps the Marx Brothers beat Sylvania by spinning the world backwards, singing "Hail, Hail Freedonia" and giving Margaret Dupont a scary flight.

[ad hoc]

Star Wars of the Roses - during a particularly messy divorce, Michael Douglas builds a "death star" and starts dressing in black, while trying to destroy the planet on which his wife, played by Kathleen Turner, lives.

[Patrick Thistle]

Big Fish Called Wanda - to be honest I can't remember what happens in either film even though I've seen them both, um let's see, John Cleese and Jamie Lee Curtis join a circus freakshow that might all just be bullshit stories told by a dying man obsessed with fish

[3 Colours Red]

Akirambo III - A Japanese motorcycle gang shoot up the entire Soviet army in Afghanistan. Otomo uses even more shades of red than usual.

[San Bernardhinault]

Alita: Battle Angels in the Outfield: Dystopian cyberpunk future in which an LA baseball team wins the world series (er... isn't that just 2020?)

[pebblethefish]

Ferris Bueller's Day Off the Triffids - The cheeky scamp is determined to have a good time, pursued by a walking potato.

[ad hoc]

The Elephant Man Who Fell To Earth - Nihilist remake of Dumbo

[Southport Zeb]

Midnight Run Lola Run - a young German woman attempts to get money to her boyfriend across three parallel, but all poorly lit, timelines.

Kingdom of Heaven Can Wait - LA Rams quarterback is advised by his guardian angel that he doesn't need to prioritise watching Ridley Scott's Crusades film

[3 Colours Red]

Amazon Women On The Paper Moon - a broadcast of a low budget B-movie experiences technical difficulties and is interrupted by a touching tale of a Depression-era conman saddled with a young girl who may or may not be his daughter. Critics describe the tonal shift as "jarring", "like whiplash" and "confusing".

[lambers]

Captain American Pie – Steve Rogers enters a pact to get laid before prom, or will he end up struggling with the Red Skull?

[Felicity, I guess so]

Throw Mamma Mia from the Train

No punchline, just please do

[Felicity, I guess so]

The Greatest Toy Story Ever Told
An ensemble cast takes us from Nativity to escape from the waste incinerator

[Felicity, I guess so]

Breathless in Seattle
down-to-earth journalist Annie (Meg Ryan) sets out on a cross-country trip to meet Sam (Tom Hanks) after hearing his heavy-breathing phone call to a radio talk show. She inexplicably shoots a traffic cop en route then they lie around in a hotel room and nothing happens.

[Felicity, I guess so]

Police Academy Se7en
steve Guttenberg and the jolly crew will be real glad when meticulous, cerebral, moral Det. Somerset (Morgan Freeman) retires in seven days...

[Felicity, I guess so]

The Lives of the Others
An obsessive Stasi surveillance agent spying on a mother and two children in a huge mansion becomes aware of people talking and whispering and crying; thuds and noises come from empty rooms; the daughter, Ann talks to an invisible boy and insists that there are others walking around the house...

[Various Artist]

A Town Called Panic Room - a cowboy, a native American and a horse barricade themselves in a fortified area of their house to protect their pile of bricks from intruders.

South Pacific Rim - Musical in which a young nurse stationed on a Pacific island falls in love with a giant warrior robot but struggles to accept his inter-dimentional dinosaur-like children.

Having just read right through this thread, I have nothing to add right this minute except to say that I would watch the shit out of both of these.