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Craptastic big budget movies

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    Craptastic big budget movies

    I watched Kong: Skull Island on ITV2 over the weekend. Samuel L. Jackson, Brie Larson, Tom Hiddleston, John Goodman, obvious big budget. Truly terrible film. Like, woeful.


    #2
    I liked that ok.
    When it came out, it was possible to go to a special kind of facility where you could pay them $12 and they'd let you watch the film on a big screen in front of a bunch of big chairs arranged on a steep incline while eating snacks that the place sold at a huge markup. I used to go to those places a lot.

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      #3
      Visually there was a lot to like. It was basically a Vietnam film without being a Vietnam film. The sequence with the hueys going in was great.

      It was just tosh from then on in.

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        #4
        It's about a giant gorilla doing giant gorilla things. That was enough for me.

        But I find those films don't work at all when I try to watch them at home.

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          #5
          Originally posted by Hot Pepsi View Post
          I liked that ok.
          When it came out, it was possible to go to a special kind of facility where you could pay them $12 and they'd let you watch the film on a big screen in front of a bunch of big chairs arranged on a steep incline while eating snacks that the place sold at a huge markup. I used to go to those places a lot.
          What's the score with the big chairs on a steep incline?

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            #6
            I didn't think that Kong: Skull Island was too bad. It wasn't as boring as the Peter Jackson version from the 2000s. I remember thinking it was like a Vietnam film while watching. It is too long but all King Kong films are, even the original.

            After the confusing acronym diversion on another thread, we should refer to it as KSI and leave onlookers wondering what the problem is with the Icelandic football authorities.


            Last edited by Benjm; 26-10-2020, 17:14.

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              #7
              And that film where, at the end, people are walking across a snowdrift level with The Statue Of Liberty's head: That was overpriced crap as well, wasn't it?

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                #8
                The Day After Tomorrow, trebs? That the one? And yep.

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                  #9
                  Derivative, too

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by Patrick Thistle View Post
                    The Day After Tomorrow, trebs? That the one? And yep.
                    Yes, that. In fact, I'd go for anything ever made by an internationally famous German director apart from Herren Fassbinder and Akin (yes, that's Petersen and Emmerich I'm looking at).

                    Although, thinking about it, Fassbinder and Akin aren't really as famous as they/people think they are.
                    Last edited by treibeis; 26-10-2020, 17:32.

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                      #11
                      Not a Herzog fan then?

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                        #12
                        All of the Transformers franchise.

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by Benjm View Post
                          Not a Herzog fan then?
                          No. Too unclever by half.

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by Benjm View Post
                            I didn't think that Kong: Skull Island was too bad. It wasn't as boring as the Peter Jackson version from the 2000s. I remember thinking it was like a Vietnam film while watching. It is too long but all King Kong films are, even the original.
                            The Peter Jackson Kong was just indescribably bad, and overwhelmingly long, and should have ended many times before he added yet another 20 minutes onto it. At least that's what I remember from my almost comatose haze of boredom 15+ years ago.

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                              #15
                              The Day After Tomorrow is terrible, but my affection for disaster schlock gives it a pass, just like the even more risible 2012, or the yet more comically awful The Core.

                              Geostorm might be the absolute pits of the genre, for a combination of shocking acting, ridiculous premise, absolute bollocks plotting (oh, of course the bloke who invented this thing happens to be the brother of a person working at the White House), garbage story, a ton of cash, and the presence of Gerard Butler.

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                                #16
                                Battleship cost $200m.
                                Evan Almighty cost $175m (How? How?!)

                                (I'd also add "most of Marvel's output" but then I'm in a narky mood.)

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                                  #17
                                  Oh jeez, 2012. We watched that one Christmas Day when I was as high as a kite and I almost had an aneurysm from laughing so hard. There's a bit where a car escaping some mega-earthquake drives *through* a collapsing office building, like through the windows on one side of this building and out the other. It's ridiculous, and if it wasn't so damn long - two hours and forty minutes! - I'd probably love it.
                                  Last edited by My Name Is Ian; 26-10-2020, 18:16.

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                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by treibeis View Post
                                    What's the score with the big chairs on a steep incline?
                                    I was making an extended non-joke about how movie theaters used to be a thing.

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                                      #19
                                      Battleship was unspeakably bad and right wing.

                                      I give The Day After Tomorrow credit for ambition. I don't know anyone else has really done anything like that with climate change. It's unlikely that it could all happen that fast, of course.

                                      I suppose "big CGI set-pieces for their own sake" aren't as appealing to a wide audience as they once were. Of course, The Avengers had lots of big CGI scenes, but they also had characters and a long story and all of that.

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                                        #20
                                        Originally posted by Hot Pepsi View Post

                                        I was making an extended non-joke about how movie theaters used to be a thing.
                                        Ah, right.

                                        But where were the chairs, and why?

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                                          #21
                                          Chairs = seats. Or do your movie theaters make people stand?

                                          Ours all now how "stadium seating" such that each row of seats offers a clear line of sight over the one in front of it and you don't have to look up at the screen. If you're in the back 10 rows or so, you're actually looking downward at the screen. You have to climb stairs to get to most of the seats, but there is a row or two in front for those who can't do that and those people do have to lean back and look up to see the screen. The doors are usually in the front rather than the back as in old theaters, and the aisles are on the side, not the center.

                                          Until 20 years ago, most of our cinemas were not like that. The seats gently sloped downward to the screen. if you weren't tall and/or the person in front of you was, you might not be able to fully see the screen.

                                          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stadium_seating

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                                            #22
                                            On the subject of crapbusters: The Lady I Walked To The Registry Office With has promised me we can watch "Idioterne" on Netflix tonight.

                                            I don't know whether it's on Netflix, and we don't even have fucking Netflix, but I'm really excited.

                                            She promised it because I keep saying "hold kaeft" to her, and that was a staple of "Idioterne".

                                            I've seen "Idioterne" nine times.

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                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by San Bernardhinault View Post

                                              The Peter Jackson Kong was just indescribably bad, and overwhelmingly long, and should have ended many times before he added yet another 20 minutes onto it. At least that's what I remember from my almost comatose haze of boredom 15+ years ago.

                                              It was long but it was very good. The fight between Kong and the T-Rexs was fantastic.

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                                                #24
                                                Avatar. Ferngully with giant Smurfs.

                                                Highest grossing film of all time for a decade, now no-one gives a fuck about it for very good reason. It's shit. No wonder the sequels have stalled.

                                                And mentioning James Cameron again, Titanic. Three hours of terrible editing, plotholes bigger than that iceberg and Celine Fucking Dion.

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                                                  #25
                                                  I watched Venom tonight on Netflix. Really enjoyed it. Is there a thread for it?

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