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Lines in memoriam Alan Green

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    Lines in memoriam Alan Green

    So

    Farewell then, Alan Green

    You became increasingly more, and more irritating over the years.

    Keith's mum says she can remember when she liked listening to you on the wireless

    That was a long time ago



    https://www.thetimes.co.ukCmxCmzcMmzzcbbvmcm
    ,

    Z

    https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/a...-now-80jh3ccxz




    #2
    Whilst I’m no fan of Alan Green I do agree that 5Live is becoming almost unlistenable and overrun with “top bantz”.

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      #3
      Oh, I thought he had died.

      "There isn't an ageist, sexist, racist bone in my body."

      Hahahaha, is he taking the piss?

      Just a casual racist, not yer BAD racist https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_G..._controversies

      He's got a point, I can't stand listening to Bruce-Ball and Chris Sutton, but Alan Green can fuck off. He was awful to listen to.
      Last edited by RobW; 10-03-2020, 12:07.

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        #4
        It's like Barry Davies revisited.

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          #5
          At our school (60s for him, 70s me) Greeny played only hockey.

          In my day his future brother in law 'Winker' Watson (bear with me, it was quite posh) was a student PE teacher. He confirmed that even then the great man was a tosser

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            #6
            Originally posted by tracteurgarçon View Post
            Whilst I’m no fan of Alan Green I do agree that 5Live is becoming almost unlistenable and overrun with “top bantz”.
            Agree with both parts of this.

            I remember Green's rant after the semi finals of the Champions League, in which it was determined that Man Utd would be playing Chelsea in Moscow, something like "they should move the final to Wembley......in fact they should just have it at Wembley every year because English clubs are going to be so dominant for years to come that it's the only logical place to hold it".

            Also had a tendency to refer to England as "we", IIRC.

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              #7
              I think he was joking about all future finals at Wembley...

              He does seem a bit defensive about any suggestion of glory-hunting, claiming to support only Irish League side Linfield rather than Liverpool.

              Has lived in or near Blackburn for many years, but not a regular with fellow sleb fan Max von Sydow* it seems

              * Wikipedia last weekend- possibly another gag

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                #8
                Like WFD, I agree with both parts of tracteurgarcon's position. Green was one of my least favourite 5 Live commentators/hosts, I found him incredibly irritating. But the increasing bantz content on 5 Live is utter garbage.

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                  #9
                  I liked him, precisely because he was so morose all the time and when a match or team was shite he'd call it, and not toe the line of "everything in the Premier League is fucking brilliant!" like most seem determined to do.

                  He did seem to get most excited when Liverpool were doing well, it's true, but the beeb had been sending him to cover their matches for the decade since Stuart Hall was carted off to clink, so I think a bit of bias was only natural.

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                    #10
                    I have to say that I didn't find him so annoying.

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                      #11
                      The main reason I do is (or at least was) his semi-informed whining about referees

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                        #12
                        He's a nobhead.

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                          #13
                          Him with Lawrenson on co-commentary was two hours of me yelling "if you fucking hate everything about your job so much why do you keep doing it?"

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                            #14
                            Alan Greene was bloody terrible on radio - possibly the worst - but was noticeably better when he finally arrived on TV. It could have been that he was less used to the medium and not as arrogant as a result but I haven't heard him in years on either to compare.

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                              #15
                              Green, as time went on, was the man who started to turn me away from football on the radio (which I loved listening to for many years). The likes of Lawrenson and Savage sealed the deal.

                              I honestly don't bother with it at all now.

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                                #16
                                Originally posted by Snake Plissken View Post
                                Him with Lawrenson on co-commentary was two hours of me yelling "if you fucking hate everything about your job so much why do you keep doing it?"
                                Because we've all got mortgages to pay dearie

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                                  #17
                                  Lawrenson is always the worst of all worlds but, makes Green seem reasonable. Unless Beglin or Houghton are near a mic. Ex Liverpool cunts really shouldn't be allowed near a commentary gantry. That useless horse addict Owen continuing the proud tradition on BT sports is so fuckin depressing.

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                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by Rogin the Armchair fan View Post
                                    I liked him, precisely because he was so morose all the time and when a match or team was shite he'd call it, and not toe the line of "everything in the Premier League is fucking brilliant!" like most seem determined to do.
                                    I enjoyed this at first but when he realised that this was his USP he seemed to find literally everything shite and his constant moaning quickly became boring.

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                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by tracteurgarçon View Post

                                      I enjoyed this at first but when he realised that this was his USP he seemed to find literally everything shite and his constant moaning quickly became boring.
                                      One of his problems was that all the games were "horrible" and that every late tackle was "horrendous". Everything was blown out of proportion. Any time I listened I had to check whether it was Green or Mike Ingham starting the commentary, and turn off/on accordingly every quarter.

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                                        #20
                                        Just to continue my more generalised rant about 5Live's football coverage, there was a time when they would say something like "There's been a goal at Anfield, we'll go over to our correspondent in a moment" and then finish whatever discussion they were having where as now they'll just excitedly shout over whatever is going on, really rudely cutting off whoever is speaking.

                                        They also seem to be continually in a rush to get information over quickly without doing it accurately, names will often get mangled, they'll get scorers wrong, sometimes teams will be incorrect and the absolute obsession with the Premier League or Champions League if it's midweek, means that lower league teams and results might not even get a mention.

                                        Often they'll give scores without mentioning the second team "Celtic have gone a goal up", yes thanks for that but, not being a Celtic fan, I haven't got a clue who they're playing so that information is fairly useless to me.

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                                          #21
                                          Originally posted by Satchmo Distel View Post
                                          It's like Barry Davies revisited.
                                          The difference being that while Davies was quite prepared to get on his high-horse when he felt it was merited, he never lost the sense of enjoying what he did. Green’s default position seemed to be “this is awful. Prove me wrong.”

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