madge's awesome new flick

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

The story of Wallis and Edward, Directed and written by Madonna. This could possibly be the greatest movie of all time



are played by these people





this is the queen mum.

This could nearly be as good as swept away, and can only be more historically accurate than the kings speech.

once again. Written and directed by madonna.

[Renart]

madge's awesome new flick

I hope Madonna coached the actors on their accents.

[Stumpy Pepys]

madge's awesome new flick

This got stinking reviews — it's currently 27% on Rotten Tomatoes.

[George]

madge's awesome new flick

let's face it, this woman hasn't put her hand to anything of note since Dear Jessie.

[Valentino Mazzola]

madge's awesome new flick

She's been rubbish for 15, probably 20 years. Try hard and forced when before (see the Ultimate Collection) it all seemed effortless.

[Freestyling buck wilding Stijn Stijnen]

madge's awesome new flick

I think that blind ambition only gets you so far.
Anyone who can hold a note could have sung those songs.

[Jah Womble]

madge's awesome new flick

What about blonde ambition?

Personally, I'd've excluded the line 'A film by Madonna'. I mean, that's really not going to help, is it?

[Lucia Lanigan]

madge's awesome new flick

Has anyone seen Swept Away? It's kind of fascinating to imagine how bad it must be.

[E10 Rifle]

madge's awesome new flick

She's been rubbish for 15, probably 20 years. Try hard and forced when before (see the Ultimate Collection) it all seemed effortless.

That's an accurate description of her pop career, but a generous one when it comes to her film "career", in which she's been rubbish for 26 years - ie Desperately Seeking Susan was a reasonably enjoyable romp, everything else utter drivel.

[George]

madge's awesome new flick

No, but I have sat through 2/3rds of 'Who's That Girl?', and to be honest it was harmlessly shit rather than hatefully shit. I couldn't hold anything against it, even if it did take away an hour of my life that I'll never get back.

[Disco Child Ballads]

madge's awesome new flick

I thought she was good in A League of Their Own but that wasn't a starring role.

[MsD]

madge's awesome new flick

Tactictoe wrote:

I think that blind ambition only gets you so far.
Anyone who can hold a note could have sung those songs.

Yes, poor Madonna only got as far as being one of the major selling artists and live draws of all time, as well as being cited as a major inspiration for (almost) a generation of female artists. Never mind, love.

And she didn't just sing, she co-wrote most of that material. If writing top-selling tunes was that easy, we'd all be doing it.

As for the film ... I'm expecting good clothes, hair and make-up when it comes on the telly.

[George]

madge's awesome new flick

She had a run of singles from the debut album up to the release of the Immaculate Collection which more than deserved her superstar status, but from then on she probably released two great singles. Deeper and Deeper, which stands out like a gem amongst the grinding mediocrity of Erotica - and Take a Bow, which is one of those rare understated examples of how a ballad should be done.

Any commercial and critical ground which was clawed back with Ray Of Light (didn't like what I heard with this one anyway) was proven to be a fluke the moment the title track and debut single off of Music was heard. What a lump of shit it was.

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

madge's awesome new flick

Has anyone seen Swept Away? It's kind of fascinating to imagine how bad it must be.

I have. I have. It's absolutely fantastic. It's such a wish fulfilment movie for guy ritchie. Rich irritating bitch gets washed up on a desert island with ignorant french wanker who slaps the shit out of her and puts manners on her, (but it's okay because he's french) she returns to her husband house trained but secretly in love with the french man who showed her the back of her hand.

[MsD]

madge's awesome new flick

George wrote:

She had a run of singles from the debut album up to the release of the Immaculate Collection which more than deserved her superstar status, but from then on she probably released two great singles. Deeper and Deeper, which stands out like a gem amongst the grinding mediocrity of Erotica - and Take a Bow, which is one of those rare understated examples of how a ballad should be done.

Any commercial and critical ground which was clawed back with Ray Of Light (didn't like what I heard with this one anyway) was proven to be a fluke the moment the title track and debut single off of Music was heard. What a lump of shit it was.

I agree Music doesn't reach the dizzy heights of her early work, and that Deeper and Deeper is fab .. But still, personally I love the Nellee Hooper produced stuff, plus a couple of songs from Music (Don't Tell Me and I Deserve It, which isn't spectacular, but just touches me - is Amazing on that album, too? I love that.). Her failure/decline is relative, she passed her peak, but her peak was amazing.

[Borracho]

madge's awesome new flick

MsD wrote:

And she didn't just sing, she co-wrote most of that material.

And most of it is shite.

Madonna peaked musically around 1984-1985, when she had Chic and Jellybean Benitez doing her backing tracks for her. Ninety-nine per cent of her stuff since then has just been an extremely elaborate, eye-wateringly expensive exercise in wasting people's time.

I used to work in a magazine office where there was a copy of Sex sitting on one of the bookshelves. I had a leaf through it one day. There are Catholic liturgical catechisms and cordless drill instruction manuals which are more erotic than that book.

[MsD]

madge's awesome new flick

You can dismiss her work all you like, but she was still one of the major artists of the 80s and early 90s. And having a backing track written for you, isn't having all the work done; again, if if were that easy ....

[Purves Grundy]

madge's awesome new flick

MsD wrote:

And she didn't just sing, she co-wrote most of that material. If writing top-selling tunes was that easy, we'd all be doing it.

Genuine question here: How extensive was her input? Are we talking Lennon's input into, say, We Can Work It Out? Or are we into megastars' "change a word, take a third" prerogative area here?

[Borracho]

madge's awesome new flick

Of course she was huge for a very long time. No one would question that, they'd have to be innumerate and/or insane to do so.

If I were going to praise Madonna for anything, it would be for making a little go a very long way. I saw her live about 15 years ago and, with the best will in the world, she can't sing for shit and isn't much of a dancer either.

She's done extraordinarily well on very basic levels of talent. It doesn't make most of her records sound any better though.

[MsD]

madge's awesome new flick

I'd only be making an educated guess from a) what she's said in interviews b) what other people have said (making allowances for selfbigging and sour grapes on both sides) c) how I see other artists work and d) the evidence: how much successful work have the collaborators produced with other people? Is there a recognisable "stamp" to her work? etc. Does she work with people who generally collaborate on an equal basis, or are they "song doctors"?

I've only personally known who's worked directly with her and he thought she was definitely an active co-writer. And I don't think anyone else could have written I Deserve It about Guy Ritchie, except maybe his mum.

[MsD]

madge's awesome new flick

Analogue Bubblebath II wrote:

If I were going to praise Madonna for anything, it would be for making a little go a very long way. I saw her live about 15 years ago and, with the best will in the world, she can't sing for shit and isn't much of a dancer either.

She's done extraordinarily well on very basic levels of talent.

I love her, but agree with some of that. She hasn't got one of those god-given voices and isn't a fantastic dancer. You can hear her on one of those documentaries addressing her troupe: "I'm not the best singer or dancer here, but this is MY SHOW". She made the most of herself and worked hard, and thing is, I do believe she became skilled as a songwriter/producer - Express Yourself and Vogue are fantastic records.

An unfortunate part of her influence is that she helped propagate the You Can Achieve Popstardom dream - it's true that determination and drive can help you do better than sloth and hiding behind the sofa, but you can't make silk purses (or Gaultier bras) out of sow's ears.

[E10 Rifle]

madge's awesome new flick

I think she's basically a monument to relentless self-promoting solipsism. She's often gone on about having "something to say" but what that has always been is "LOOK AT ME! ME! ME! I CAN DO ANYTHING". Which, you know, is something less than genius. She's extraordinarily good at being Madonna Inc, and mostly mediocre (and sometimes actively shit) at everything else.

Some great little pop songs in the 80s though, and I don't really give much of a monkeys about her song-writing input to them - she played her part in making them good. (plus, admittedly, Deeper and Deeper which is a bit of a forgotten gem)

[MsD]

madge's awesome new flick

I find it a strange perspective when someone can be dissed for only producing a handful of fantastic pop singles. It emerged on another thread that people struggled to name 10 great T Rex singles, hence the popularity of "Top Five" threads, I guess.

Ps to Purves as I can't edit other post; she started off adding songs over backing tracks but by Bedtime Stories (at least) she was turning up with songs written.

[E10 Rifle]

madge's awesome new flick

Well had she retired in 1990 then her output would have been regarded justifiably favourably, but an artist having followed a load of good stuff with 20 years' worth of shite is bound to have an affect on how anyone's judged. Isn't it?

[Borracho]

madge's awesome new flick

T Rex were a mainstream presence for about three years, tops (from 'Ride A White Swan' to when Bolan parted company with Tony Visconti). Madonna's been around for ten times as long as that.

'Vogue' is certainly a decent track, but most of it is made from bits of other songs and Shep Pettibone came up with the Italian house piano hook. Once again, we're into the territory of Madonna being given the credit for the artistic techniques of others, though she is by no means alone among musical superstars when it comes to this.

Being a huge star was always ten billion times more important to Madonna than creating good/great music -- more than once in interviews she's referred to her singing career as "an accident".

I don't know why she even bothers making records any more at all (she has a new one coming out in the spring). She has more money than she can possibly spend, and most young or youngish people have lost interest in her at this stage. Of course, all this also applies to the likes of U2, Bowie, the Stones, Prince, Metallica and (before they split) REM in equal measure.