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    Demolition Man

    It's just started on TCM. It's an appalling film. Snipes was completely OTT and camped it up to the hilt. Stallone was frozen solid, and this was the least wooden part of his performance. Denis Leary was allowed to do his stand up routine. Sandra Bullock was annoying and twee and as crap as always. Nigel Hawthorne just didn't belong there.
    To cap it all, Sting did the fucking soundtrack. Murder death kill. What utter tosh.
    Oh, and what was all that shit with the seashells for wiping your arse? Surely there were loads of copies of Demolition Man in the 2032 charity shops they could have used?

    #2
    Demolition Man

    you'd wipe your arse with a vhs tape?

    Not even bear Grylls would do that.

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      #3
      Demolition Man

      As shit films go, though, it's awesome.

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        #4
        Demolition Man

        It's a great film, for its type.

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          #5
          Demolition Man

          I've always fondly remembered the laboured but strangely great action hero catchphrase moment when Sly responds to the futurespeak pleasantry 'Be well.' with the Wildean 'Be fucked.'

          Is Wesley Snipes in jail at the moment?

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            #6
            Demolition Man

            benjm wrote:
            Is Wesley Snipes in jail at the moment?
            Yep, and he had an appeal that was recently rejected. He's supposed to be in to at least 2013.

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              #7
              Demolition Man

              That's a shame, even though he did seem to be the architect of his own downfall.

              When he was on his game he could lift the watchability of a second/third rank actioner way more than, say, the leaden Seagal.

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                #8
                Demolition Man

                Demolition Man? A four-pack film. Get the beers in and you can enjoy its hokey goodness, unleavened by concerns of subtlety or sense. And Benjm is right about Snipes - he was a formidable presence until a hokey run of action flicks and subsequent jail time put the kibosh on all that.

                Seagal is crap isn't he? He doesn't so much assert any appeal on film as simply point his body towards someone and hiss his lines. If he gets any bulkier he'll pass for a wardrobe with hair.

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                  #9
                  Demolition Man

                  One of Channel 5's digital backwaters seems to pretty much rely on Seagal as its USP.

                  Doesn't appeal to me, but the owner has extensive experience of identifying niche markets and assessing how little you can fob off on an audience who are unlikely to publicly complain, so he probably knows what he's doing.

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                    #10
                    Demolition Man

                    Snipes. Passenger 57. That is all you need to know.

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                      #11
                      Demolition Man

                      "Always bet on black."

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                        #12
                        Demolition Man

                        All of you cunts badmouthing my Steven had better watch out. I'm gonna come around your house and beat you up in slow motion, and we will speed it up later in post production.

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                          #13
                          Demolition Man

                          Yeah, and bring your supermarket-sized love-handles with yer, Chunky!

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                            #14
                            Demolition Man

                            I like to think of myself as flowing and organically sculpted, like a stone taken from a river bed like one in the zen garden I have on my apartment balcony.

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                              #15
                              Demolition Man

                              Possible poster blurbs for future Seagal releases:

                              One man. Many enemies. Four quarterpounders.

                              Steven Seagal in another thrill-ride to leave you breathless! Bit like him after climbing a flight of stairs!

                              They killed his wife. They killed his best friend. Once he gets out of KFC, he'll kill them all.

                              The good news: they seized a supertanker. The bad news: now they'll meet a guy who looks like one.

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                                #16
                                Demolition Man

                                Do not cross the army of Steven.

                                Millions of individuals form one solid, impregnable whole. Much like the great man's hair.

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                                  #17
                                  Demolition Man

                                  Just after he'd eaten his 30th Bounty....they put one on his head!

                                  Some roll with the punches - he punches with his rolls!

                                  A gunman wired to a bomb....innocent hostages trapped in a Chinese restaurant with the best all-you-can-eat-buffet in town...HE COULD NOT BE STOPPED!

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                                    #18
                                    Demolition Man

                                    I'm sorry, but I can't keep this up. that 30 bounty gag is just too much.

                                    (Which obviously isn't something that the great man would say.)

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                                      #19
                                      Demolition Man

                                      Snipes will forever be on my all time hero list for "Blade." even Blade 2 couldn't ruin that for me.

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                                        #20
                                        Demolition Man

                                        How about Blade Trinity?

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                                          #21
                                          Demolition Man

                                          Great film. Great pinball machine too.

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