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Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

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    Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

    EDIT: Removed
    Last edited by Your Usual Table; 03-11-2021, 16:40.

    #2
    Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

    Human Centipede III: Members of the British Board of Film Censors are stitched together after taking industrial grinding equipment to their own geitals

    Human Centipede IV: The human centipede from the original Human Centipede film mutilates an internet user as he pauses from commenting on Human Centipede II to wrap his engorged genitals into a teatowel full of broken glass

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      #3
      Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

      And Steven Moffat thought he had the drop on bizarre plot twists.

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        #4
        Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

        Hmmm ... sandpaper ...

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          #5
          Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

          Getting a film banned these days is quite an achievement.

          I'm probably one of the few people on the board who's seen The Human Centipede. An fun idea stretched too long; it would have made a good Hammer House of Horror episode.

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            #6
            Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

            Stumpy Pepys wrote:
            Getting a film banned these days is quite an achievement.

            I'm probably one of the few people on the board who's seen The Human Centipede. An fun idea stretched too long; it would have made a good Hammer House of Horror episode.
            I expect it will still make a South Park episode.

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              #7
              Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

              evilC wrote:
              I expect it will still make a South Park episode.
              Oh it has already. Kyle agrees to an Apple EULA and it results in him being made into a human centipede by Steve Jobs.

              Or have I misunderstood you?

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                #8
                Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

                Stumpy Pepys wrote:
                evilC wrote:
                I expect it will still make a South Park episode.
                Oh it has already. Kyle agrees to an Apple EULA and it results in him being made into a human centipede by Steve Jobs.

                Or have I misunderstood you?
                Seriously (you guys)?

                I was just joking, but that's awesome.

                You're in Germany, right, Stumpy? I don't know what series you're up to over there, but we've only just got series 7 on terrestrial/freeview. I've just been watching it, in fact. It's pretty good - not quite up to their highest points (Ming Lee) but still damn good.

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                  #9
                  Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

                  I'm very behind on South Park; I just happened to see a preview of that particular episode.

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                    #10
                    Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

                    Apparently some hardcore porn was broadcast on TV3 (Irish commercial station, RTE's main rival) last night.

                    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Girl%27s_Guide_to_21st_Century_Sex

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                      #11
                      Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

                      I'm probably one of the few people on the board who's seen The Human Centipede. An fun idea stretched too long; it would have made a good Hammer House of Horror episode.
                      Leaving the subject matter aside I thought it was a pretty all round shoddy piece of work. The acting was awful, I mean porn film awful. Not one of them had the slightest clue about their craft except the main guy who put in an overwrought performance that made Johnny Dep in Pirates look understated by comparison. Do you remember the two policemen? Christ.

                      The scripting and pacing was grim too. It must have taken the two bints half an hour of moaning and whining in a forest about being lost before they chanced upon his house. The chase scenes around the swimming pool were utterly risible then the whole film collapsed from the time the policemen arrived.

                      The sound, the direction, the cinematography, all terrible. It just had this flat look and feel about it.

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                        #12
                        Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

                        I'll agree that the direction was flat; however, technically — in terms of general film quality and lighting — it was perfectly fine.

                        It's interesting; in the 70s and 80s, your low-budget exploitation was dark, grainy and probably blown up from 16mm film stock, with muddy sound to match. With modern digital cameras, you can now produce something much better much cheaper.

                        My problem was that two-thirds of the film plot is in the trailer and it was simply a ponderous exercise in reaching a point you knew you were going to get to. Then you get some guff with some dim-witted detectives and the film's over.

                        Like I said, it would have made a nice, macabre TV programme of 30-45 minutes in length, if you didn't know what the outcome was going to be.

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                          #13
                          Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

                          Mention of the sandpaper above reminds me of that infamous documentary that was on Channel 4 years ago: Hookers Hustlers Pimps and Their Johns.

                          The scenes with the sandpaper and the cheese grater are still indelibly imprinted on my brain.

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                            #14
                            Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

                            It reminded me of this.

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                              #15
                              Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

                              Where is the Nishlord when we need him?

                              I thought the (first) film was absolutely hilarious. It had z-movie written all over it, and led up to my expectations (after some shit buzz on t'internet). I thought it was shot beautifully, sound was great, and the lighting magnificent... but then, I was watching on SyFy HD.

                              The acting was superb. I have never seen so many 'actors', 'acting', in one film since, oh, I dunno, 'Blame It On Rio', or something.

                              Brilliant. Even funnier than 'Showgirls', and that is saying something. (I agree: call it a documentary, and get actor students to 'discuss')

                              (SHIT, Lucia: I paused Matt Monro for that pair of mirthless twats?)

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                                #16
                                Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

                                I've just cued up Human Centipede II. I shall post a review by Sunday.

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                                  #17
                                  Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

                                  Right then. A day late, but here goes.

                                  Looking back on it, my overriding memory of The Human Centipede #1 is how clinical it was. Cheaply shot, but technically competent, brightly lit and rather surgical; an extension of the mad doctor who puts the whole thing together. Of course, stitching people mouth-to-anus and making them defecate into each other's mouths is an unpleasant concept, but it was all implied and hidden under lots of well-scrubbed victims wrapped in very white bandages.

                                  You can imagine seasoned gorehounds being somewhat underwhelmed by it all — but Tom Six's sequel regurgitates the concept to the opposite extreme.

                                  So in this version, we have Martin the security guard, a collection of handicaps and neuroses—ugly, poor, short, asthmatic, overweight, abused and living an unhappy life with his horrible mother and terrible neighbours. His single pleasure in life is his obsession with The Human Centipede film and his sexually driven desire to recreate it (and then some).

                                  So Martin spends most of the film coshing the unfortunate patrons of the underground carpark he's supervising and collecting them in a rented warehouse. His methods are certainly not surgical and mostly involve objects from the kitchen and the toolbox.

                                  Even as an aficionado of extreme cinema, I found some of this film pretty hard to stomach. (And that's without the barbed wire scene, which was cut out of my version.) The black and white cinematography actually makes it worse, in the same way as films such as Man Bites Dog and Night of the Living Dead. The lead character barely utters a word throughout the film, although he makes various other noises of pleasure or pain.

                                  So yes, this is an unpleasant film. However, the BBFC seemed to object to the sexual gratification element of it, which I find very odd; I can't really imagine any viewer getting any sexual arousal out of it, in the same way as David Cronenberg's adaptation of Crash.

                                  The director says #3 will be completely different to #1 and #2, so we shall see …

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                                    #18
                                    Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

                                    David Pirie's 'A History of Horror' is full of great stuff about how the early wave of British Horror directors managed to get around the censor. It's incredible how quickly things moved on. In 1958 they were quite close to an outright ban on 'Dracula' on the grounds that it was morbid.

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                                      #19
                                      Ban This Sick Filth (Part II)

                                      I've had HC2 sitting for a few weeks now. When I converted it I skimmed through it to see it had come out all right and glimpsed said security guards hitting the writhing moaning captives with sticks. Then i caught a bit of his amateur surgery stuff and I thought yes, that can sit there quite a while longer.

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