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The Delicious Miss Dahl

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    The Delicious Miss Dahl

    Who the fuck decided that the best person to front a new cooking programme was Sophie Dahl, for fucks sake? If she's got such good taste then why the fuck has she hitched herself to Jamie fucking Cullum.

    "And next on BBC2, How to be a catwalk model, with Anthony Worrell-Thompson."

    #2
    The Delicious Miss Dahl

    I used to pull girls by telling them I was Roald Dahl's grandson. It worked a treat until the whole Sophie Dahl thing. Then I had to make up new lies.

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      #3
      The Delicious Miss Dahl

      I always found the "BFG" creepily close to a story about a big, lumbering old man becoming unusually intimate in ways he really shouldn't have been doing with a young girl.

      Put it this way, I don't think it's one Tim Burton will be fighting to "re-imagine".

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        #4
        The Delicious Miss Dahl

        I dunno. His Willy Wonka was very, errr, Wacko Jacko.

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          #5
          The Delicious Miss Dahl

          I read the BFG for the first time last year, and that's more or less exactly what I thought.

          I have pulled girls by saying that me and my mates were Dover Athletic F.C. up in London for the F.A. Trophy, by claiming that "Dave" out of Chas and Dave was my uncle, and by pretending to be from Barnsley.

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            #6
            The Delicious Miss Dahl

            Sean of the Shed wrote:
            Who the fuck decided that the best person to front a new cooking programme was Sophie Dahl, for fucks sake?
            I know. Fucking unbelievable. I think I'd rather watch Anthiny Worrall-Thompson as a catwalk model.

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              #7
              The Delicious Miss Dahl

              Perhaps it's not aimed at foodoes like you.

              I might watch it. I'm not shallow, I just understand that women can be attractive and good at cooking as well.

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                #8
                The Delicious Miss Dahl

                'Lamb to the Slaughter' has the best twist ever.
                Or at least it's very good.

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                  #9
                  The Delicious Miss Dahl

                  Tubby Isaacs wrote:
                  Perhaps it's not aimed at foodoes like you.

                  I might watch it. I'm not shallow, I just understand that women can be attractive and good at cooking as well.
                  Can be, yeah.

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                    #10
                    The Delicious Miss Dahl

                    Talking of good at cooking, has anyone seen the Waitrose advert with Delia (and Heston)?

                    That rhubarb and ginger brulee thing looks well worth the coronary that should immediately follow. (The picture on that page does it no justice whatsoever).

                    Back to Sophie: she's OK, but she isnt Nigella, and for some reason she reminds me of Gail Tilsley.

                    *Oh and right at the start she says something about 'the cardinal sin of never mixing fish with cheese': Bollocks.

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                      #11
                      The Delicious Miss Dahl

                      Gerontophile wrote:

                      Back to Sophie: she's OK, but she isnt Nigella, and for some reason she reminds me of Gail Tilsley.
                      I can't be doing with Nigella either. The whole programme is 30 minutes of wank fodder and the woman absolutely just fucking loves herself.
                      She'll mix a cake or something, then run her finger around the bowl before putting it in her mouth with a suggestive look on her face that says "you know what I'm thinking about right now, don't you boys".
                      Or she'll be blending something when she'll suddenly pull the vibrating kitchen appliance toward her quim, shut her eyes and roll her tongue around her moistened lips.
                      Or she'll begin chopping a courgette at which point she'll look down at it, her eyes will widen, and she'll climb on the kitchen work surface and flick her bean with it until she reaches a screaming orgasmic crescendo.
                      I think I'll stick to the Hairy Bikers, at least I don't end up unintentionally aroused watching them.

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                        #12
                        The Delicious Miss Dahl

                        Sean, are you having a bit of a rant-y week?

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                          #13
                          The Delicious Miss Dahl

                          I'll be ok Gero, I think I just need an infusion of caffeine.

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                            #14
                            The Delicious Miss Dahl

                            Gerontophile wrote:
                            *Oh and right at the start she says something about 'the cardinal sin of never mixing fish with cheese': Bollocks.[/quote]
                            I agree, I mean look at the McDonalds Fillet O Fish, food of kings.....I don't know much about cooking....I'll get my coat....

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                              #15
                              The Delicious Miss Dahl

                              Is there cheese on a Filet o fish? I havent eaten one since I stopped drinking cider.

                              I may have misquoted her... after thinking about this a bit, she may have meant in Italian cookery.

                              *She did. Apologies Ms Dahl.

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                                #16
                                The Delicious Miss Dahl

                                I think there's cheese on a Fillet O Fish. It was the first thing I thought of when you mentioned cheese with fish.

                                Which just proves my point about my being ignorant about cooking and good food I suppose!

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                                  #17
                                  The Delicious Miss Dahl

                                  There is indeed, half a cheese slice on a Filet o Fish. (Ossy, I just Googled McDonalds... I now feel wretched.)
                                  Cheese ingredients in all their glory.

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                                    #18
                                    The Delicious Miss Dahl

                                    I thought that Dahl's USP (apart from her grandad) was that she was a model who was a normal size & who wasn't a Size 0 skeleton. Then she lost weight and became a size 0 skeleton

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                                      #19
                                      The Delicious Miss Dahl

                                      Before she de-chubbed, Sophie Dahl was pretty much my ideal woman.

                                      I sat directly behind her on a flight to Dublin once, back in the glory days. Got a proper eyeful when she reached up to the overhead luggage rack, I tell you.

                                      I also stood next to a friend and former Melody Maker colleague (no, not an OTFer) and watched with, in sequence, envy and disgust as Sophie Dahl chatted him up, then he knocked her back.

                                      Yes, he's straight. If camp.

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                                        #20
                                        The Delicious Miss Dahl

                                        Somethbing tells me this isn't Gittins you're talking about.

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                                          #21
                                          The Delicious Miss Dahl

                                          Hah.

                                          This same guy also rejected the advances of Natalie Imbruglia and Shaznay out of All Saints.

                                          I mean, there's being picky, and there's... well, I'm lost for words actually.

                                          Comment


                                            #22
                                            The Delicious Miss Dahl

                                            I'd be happy just to see a channel that has no cookery programmes whatsoever and just have a society that's not afraid to go into the kitchen and do whatever it wants to do without a bunch of slightly-snobbish types appearing on the box and telling the Great Unwashed How To Cook. I haven't see Dahl's programme, but I'm a bit irked whenever you have a celebrity hitherto unconnected with the world of cuisine given several episodes of airtime to teach all of us bumpkins how to cook, whereas most of us could possibly have a good go ourselves and come up with something as edible - without a film crew and a production staff.

                                            Dahl was interviewed in the RT on why she was given a series on cooking, and said that she had a 'passion' for it, the interviewer possibly forgetting the next few questions which would involve asking how many restaurants she owned, how long she'd been a top class chef and where were her Michelin stars.

                                            Personally, to contradict what I said at the start, I'm not averse to cookery programmes, but I'd only like one, if possible, one which didn't involve cook-offs, competing chefs, young chefs goaded into tearful thoughts of suicide just because their Beef Bourgignon wasn't up to Savoy Hotel standard, or any celebrity who should be popping off to do what they were doing originally instead of telling the masses How To Cook. Just a helpful, ungimmicky show, fronted by a professional chef.

                                            That's all.

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                                              #23
                                              The Delicious Miss Dahl

                                              Well, obviously the ideal would be a split-screen format with an ugly male chef doing the cooking on the left and Sophie Dahl doing a strip tease on the right, but that dream remains some way off.

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                                                #24
                                                The Delicious Miss Dahl

                                                I wouldn't be available anyway. I suppose that the appeal of seeing a gorgeous woman in a kitchen full of food could be easily replicated by going into a kitchen with a cookery book in one hand and a copy of Chesty Sluts in the other so you could have a hand shandy whilst whipping up a steak tartare, thus having two indulgences for the price of one.

                                                The world of televisual opportunities awaits.

                                                Nope, and I'm not implying Madames Lawson and Dahl are chesty sluts (although that could be the ideas that certain commissioning editors have).

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                                                  #25
                                                  The Delicious Miss Dahl

                                                  Is the "no cheese with fish" thing universal in Italian cooking? Because if so, it would be about the only thing that is.

                                                  Your French love a bit of it. Coquilles St-Jacques, grated gruyere in your soupe de poissons. None of this nonsense about them not being compatible.

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