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    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    Nah, she's a hurler if ever I saw one. Hence the scraped back hair.

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      I've just seen a traumatic advert

      There’s an ad on at the moment, probably for bog roll or water, with a load of babies in a skate park doing bunny hops and that to one of the hip-hop classics – it may be “White Lines” but I start a-cussin’ and a-hollerin’ each time it starts because I really don’t want it to sink in.

      I think my worstest five is like this –

      1)Babies in adverts
      2)Babies as boss of the company in adverts
      3)Babies having adult voices in ads
      4)Kids having their own voices but adopting adult roles
      5)Songs I like being used to hawk some tawdry wares

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        I've just seen a traumatic advert

        There's a bog roll ad currently on with badly done CGI labrador puppies going round being people. It is awful in every conceivable way but most depressing in what it reveals about the thinking of those that came up with the concept & subsequently those that commisioned it.
        That meeting in full...
        Marketing Cunts:
        "Something to make the proles buy stuff to wipe their arses with you say? How about funny dogs all being people & that & doing people things like walking on 2 legs & living in houses?"
        Bog roll company Cunts:
        "Genius. The dozy twats love shit like this."
        A nation:
        "ha ha. Look at funny dogs. We love shit like this."
        Everyone kills themselves.
        The End.

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          I've just seen a traumatic advert

          I don’t mind that one so much, I find anthromorphism easier to stomach than babyoadultism.

          But you have just reminded me that once when I was pissed I told a friend that they’d always used the same puppy in the bog roll ads and gave it some growth retardation drugs to keep it all cute looking. I found out about two years later that they still believed it.

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            I've just seen a traumatic advert

            The Vanish ones always get me due to the fact that the people who made it must have pissed themselves laughing at how much money they've made by peddling the most hackneyed cobblers that must have been old-style in 1964, never mind now.

            Housewife just can't get stains out of her hubby's shirt. Hold on, says Vanish woman in her pink t-shirt, here's Vanish, which should get the job done. Shirt gets clean. Everyone's happy.

            There are vagrants walking around, mumbling to themselves in city centres carrying cans of half-drunk Tennants who could have cooked up something better. Personally, were I given the job, I would have changed the script to have the housewife, horrified that someone has broken in to her house and confronted her in her own kitchen, whipping out a steak knife and cornering the pink-t-shirted intruder until a police car turned up, the Vanish-flogging reprobate weeping like a mad-arse until her salty tears dropped forlornly into her scoop of washing-up powder. 'I only wanted to offer some Vanish!' she wails as the defiant housewife keeps her at bay. 'It keeps your laundry nice and fresh! My husband's left me for another woman! Try Vanish today! Lemme go!'

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              I've just seen a traumatic advert

              Surely it would be better if she stabbed the intruder, then used the Vanish to get rid of the blood stains.

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                I've just seen a traumatic advert

                But what if someone else nicked her knife and did it? She'd be arrested for a grime she didn't commit. It's be a stain on her character.

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                  I've just seen a traumatic advert

                  Underdog. Fraudulent, cheating, lying squeaky-voiced cunt more like. Just watch the little fucker at the end, he's got his tail in a bandage, but he starts wagging it with no visible signs of pain whatsoever. Fucking slimy bastard is trying to screw the insurers with a false compo scam. What an utter fucking shit. I'd like to see giant Brian Blessed dog sit on his fucking head with his big fat arse until he promises to withdraw his bullshit claim. This is why my premiums are going through the fucking roof.

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                    I've just seen a traumatic advert

                    May I offer the current AA ads as confirmation that whatever comedic value that John Cleese may have possessed has well and truly walked out, left a farewell note and booked its place at the nearest retirement home.

                    John...you're not funny anymore. You've given us a lot of recent examples of why you should have given up some time ago but this is the full stop of a dull and lengthy sentence.

                    Stop it.

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                      I've just seen a traumatic advert

                      Both I and my gentleman friend remarked on it the other night. Poor bastard probably worked his bollocks off to pay for that

                      I hate most women as portrayed in adverts, although I have to say I recognise that type from my working life.

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                        I've just seen a traumatic advert

                        COKE ZERO!

                        BOOM! POW! FLAMES! EXPLOSIONS! Guy opens box and finds Coke bottles in packs of ice! BOOM, KERPOW! SWIRLING FLAMES! He picks one up - SWOOSH! EXPLOSIONS! Flames coalesce into turbulent clouds of Coke Zero! KERBOOM! BLAM! Clouds of Coke Zero turn into hot babe! SWIRL! SEX! HOTTIE! BOOM! ZAP! Butch American voice says 'COKE ZERO! GREAT TASTE! ZERO SUGAR!' in such throatiness that suggests he's been GARGLING NAIL GUNS ALL NIGHT! BOOM! SWISSSSSH! KERPOW! MORE FLAMES! Guy whose taken Coke out of icebox just stands there like a tool with inane grin on his face! DOPEY! BOOM - BLAM! KERPOOOWWW! Butch American voice says 'COKE ZERO! GREAT TASTE! ZERO SUGAR!' again just to remind us what the fucking ad's all about although we could tell him we got it the first time! REPETITION! HOOOWAHH! Bloke who wrote this shit - UNIMAGINATIVE COCKSUCKER! KERPOW! KABOOOM! - goes down pub! ALCOHOL! CRISPS! And tells his friends - PISSED! VOMITING! - how he managed to get away with thinking up - IN HIS LUNCHTIME! BACK OF A FAG PACKET! - such horseshit and getting paid for it! LUXURY HOLIDAY FOR HIM AND HIS GIRLFRIEND! NEW CAR!

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                          I've just seen a traumatic advert

                          I've been meaning to mention this one for some time:

                          -



                          -

                          So... they killed a bunch of puppies, gutted them, filled them with cybernetics, then coated them in plastic and got them to 'perform'. Great. Really heart-warming.

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                            I've just seen a traumatic advert

                            I’m sure I’ve said before that I had a friend believing that they had given the original Andrex puppy growth-inhibiting drugs and were still using the original one decades after the ads started.

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                              I've just seen a traumatic advert

                              It's odd how he's not cleaning up the porn ("These Ladies Do It Human Style!"), takeaway leftovers, empty beer bottles etc. like a normal bloke who has been left to his own devices whilst the good lady is away.

                              And he does that cunting loo paper origami thing that hotels think is sophisticated. NO IT'S NOT!

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                                I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                Could you pop round our mam's and tell her too, please?

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                                  I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                  And he does that cunting loo paper origami thing that hotels think is sophisticated. NO IT'S NOT!
                                  That's not about being sophisticated is it? That's more about: "Look, we cleaned your toilet".

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                                    I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                    To be fair, someone known as Eggy would know if someone had cleaned his toilet or not.

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                                      I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                      In what bizzarre world is a folded piece of bog roll an indicator of a clean loo? The cleaner could have simply folded the paper and done bugger all else in the cleaning department so as to knock off early.

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                                        I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                        It's to indicate that no-one's used the facilities since the cleaner was there.

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                                          I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                          Unless they wiped their arse with their hands and then their hands on the wall.

                                          Well it's probably easier than re-doing the toilet roll origami thing.

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                                            I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                            Has anyone mentioned the bizarre new Bernard Matthews ad, with Marco Pierre White chatting to Martin Kemp in a restaurant? The people at the agency have clearly been watching The Trip, but the problems with this effort are firstly that Martin Kemp is a... curious choice, shall we say, to represent the brand; and secondly, the whole thing takes a rather sinister turn when Pierre White questions the culinary abilities of Kemp's mother and the ex-Spandster appears to once again channel the spirit of Reggie Kray with his intimidating response.

                                            More buitiful than bootiful.

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                                              I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                              Just a quick word about the 'Vanish' ad:

                                              I think a lot of the cleaning products' adverts are actually made for a pan-European TV audience, which is why (if, like me, you are a boring twat, and look closely at the lip movements) they are not necessarily speaking the words that you are hearing.

                                              The 'Soap Opera' ads for whatever shit they are trying to flog, using ex-soap actors, do my head in. However, the other half said 'I didnt realise Dot Cotton was dead?' (because Amanda Barrie (ex Corrie) was playing "Nasty Nick"'s mum ('Nasty Nick' being 'Nick Cotton' (John Altman) in 'Eastenders')

                                              Fuck me (not literally, thanks): punctuation meltdown!

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                                                I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                                ah, I see the post following mine by dailynews or something, was deleted. It read:

                                                cool,lol

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                                                  I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                                  Mumpo wrote:
                                                  Has anyone mentioned the bizarre new Bernard Matthews ad, with Marco Pierre White chatting to Martin Kemp in a restaurant? The people at the agency have clearly been watching The Trip, but the problems with this effort are firstly that Martin Kemp is a... curious choice, shall we say, to represent the brand; and secondly, the whole thing takes a rather sinister turn when Pierre White questions the culinary abilities of Kemp's mother and the ex-Spandster appears to once again channel the spirit of Reggie Kray with his intimidating response.

                                                  More buitiful than bootiful.
                                                  I noticed that one, but my brain blew a fuse and it didn't register, for all it's wonderful wrongness.

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                                                    I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                                    Mumpo wrote:
                                                    Has anyone mentioned the bizarre new Bernard Matthews ad, with Marco Pierre White chatting to Martin Kemp in a restaurant? The people at the agency have clearly been watching The Trip
                                                    Indeed, though instead of Kemp saying "Enough turkey, let's talk football" the ad should really have trailed off with the two of them trading Michael Caine impressions.

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