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    I have so many irritating adverts in my head at the moment that I can't stop myself saying "I'm 32, and I've never smoked" and "I've paid less than that for a cup of coffee!" in an actor's voice.
    Last edited by Kowalski; 23-07-2020, 14:30.

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      "I know how to keep my body healthy, but how do I keep my teeth healthy?"

      WTF - were you never taught oral hygiene when growing up??

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        Speaking of oral hygiene, one (very rare) outbreak of light relief that I get from adverts is the phenomenon I've christened Sloping Dentists.

        I believe it's only Sensodyne that use these, but they always use them. You can tell a Sensodyne commercial a mile off, because the smiling white-coated figure appearing to talk about your mouth will invariably appear tilted at a 15- to 30-degree angle.

        It seems to be some weird visual grammar meant to denote "this is authentic, unvarnished testimony, which you can therefore trust – because the filming is authentically off-kilter and a bit shaky, just like some real person filmed it themselves". Whereas to me it's just clearly artifice, not least because any amateur who found themselves filming on such a bad angle would stop and straighten the lens up then try again, so it's really distracting. But on the bright side, due to how over the last however many years since I started noticing this I can't help but shout "Sloping Dentist!" whenever one of their ads appears on screen, the likes of my mother and brother can no longer unsee it either – so it's turned into something of a family parlour game.

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          I'm going to see that now.

          The radio ads for Brexit "Let's get going" are pure propaganda. It's not even subtle. Off we go to the sunny uplands! Chins up, folks! Let's goooooooooo!!!

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            I may have mentioned this before but Alexandr and Sergei seem to have more than just a professional relationship these days in the Compare the Meerkat adverts. Which is refreshing to see.

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              In "terrible acoustic ballad version of a song played in an advert" news, Viagra Connect being advertised to a maudlin version of (I Would Walk) 500 Miles is a low point.

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                Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
                Speaking of oral hygiene, one (very rare) outbreak of light relief that I get from adverts is the phenomenon I've christened Sloping Dentists.

                I believe it's only Sensodyne that use these, but they always use them. You can tell a Sensodyne commercial a mile off, because the smiling white-coated figure appearing to talk about your mouth will invariably appear tilted at a 15- to 30-degree angle.

                It seems to be some weird visual grammar meant to denote "this is authentic, unvarnished testimony, which you can therefore trust – because the filming is authentically off-kilter and a bit shaky, just like some real person filmed it themselves". Whereas to me it's just clearly artifice, not least because any amateur who found themselves filming on such a bad angle would stop and straighten the lens up then try again, so it's really distracting. But on the bright side, due to how over the last however many years since I started noticing this I can't help but shout "Sloping Dentist!" whenever one of their ads appears on screen, the likes of my mother and brother can no longer unsee it either – so it's turned into something of a family parlour game.
                That's tremendous.

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                  Originally posted by Patrick Thistle View Post
                  In "terrible acoustic ballad version of a song played in an advert" news, Viagra Connect being advertised to a maudlin version of (I Would Walk) 500 Miles is a low point.
                  Meant to post that, John Lewis and their Christmas ads started this, but that's probably the worst of them by some distance.

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                    Originally posted by Jah Womble View Post
                    That's tremendous.
                    Points for the next OTFer to spot one. Remember, you have to call "Sloping Dentist!" out loud to claim the 'catch'.

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                      The tampax ad where a black scouser presenting a fake chat show encourages women to ram their tampon home to the last, with a lusty "get it up you." Has been banned in ireland, after a lot of complaints. Well, a lot of complaints for an ad.

                      There are lots of discussions to be had about normalizing such topics, but this was literally the john smith ad of sanitary products.

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                        Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
                        Points for the next OTFer to spot one. Remember, you have to call "Sloping Dentist!" out loud to claim the 'catch'.
                        I'm going to set up two screens to maximise my chances. Which channels are particularly aimed at the sensitive tooth community? ITV3? Talking Pictures? The latter speaks more to the denture fixative crowd, perhaps.

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                          I'll also be on the watch for this, which strikes me as very much a 'daytime TV'-thing. I occasionally watch Countdown and the breaks always seem chock-a with dental, insurance or incontinence-pad commercials.

                          (That's when I haven't paused the screen to work out the cross-break teaser.)

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                            I like how you're taking this suitably seriously, Benjm. Good question that – ITV3 seems a solid punt, certainly, and although I can't say I've spent much or any time on Talking Pictures to gauge their ads I'd say it's got to be worth a go as well. Try Yesterday or Drama too, perhaps, or Channel 5 if you don't mind going downmarket. I think evenings are perfectly likely too though Jah Womble, for the record.

                            Double points, by the way, for anyone who bags one shelving right-to-left as we look at it, i.e. canted towards the lower-left corner of your screen. Sloping Dentists generally seem to slope down toward their left shoulder (at least in captivity – none have been found intact in the wild but it is to be presumed they genetically tend to have the left leg shorter than the right), and hence right-declined ones are comparatively rare sightings.
                            The particularly benighted specimens, however, are also plagued by multiple quick cuts wherein they may lurch from left- to right-tilted and back again several times in a matter of seconds, so I think for the sake of the rules we'll have to say only ones sloping predominantly right-to-left count, OK?
                            Last edited by Various Artist; 30-07-2020, 15:59.

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                              Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
                              I like how you're taking this suitably seriously, Benjm. Good question that – ITV3 seems a solid punt, certainly, and although I can't say I've spent much or any time on Talking Pictures to gauge their ads I'd say it's got to be worth a go as well.

                              Give Talking Pictures a go.They broadcast old telly programmes as well as films, the original Van der Valk for example. There's also been an interesting little thing called "Rooms" as well.

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                                Adverts aside, Talking Pictures is really good for turning up interesting stuff away from the bigger channels' rotations.

                                Van der Valk is a right bastard in the third series that they're showing at the moment. Euston Films took over the production for that one and it shows.

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                                  On the other hand, under no circumstances turn over to Talking Pictures for the next two hours; they've put the toe curlingly bad 1970 Kingsley Amis adaptation Take A Girl Like You on again.

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                                    In Spanish adverts, experts on the right kind of cleaning product to use in showers, dishwashers and washing machines are invariably men - technicians appearing in kitchens as if by magic - while the "useless" females look on in awe and relief at being told what they've been doing wrong.

                                    Of course, accepting that men can know something about household chores is, from my merely anecdotal evidence, a step too far for far too many women of my acquaintance.

                                    The ads are still rabidly sexist, though.

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                                      Originally posted by jwdd27 View Post
                                      If Robert de Niro had indeed read the script for the car advert, he would have seen that he didn't feature - surely he would have read further to see what his lines were, or what his character's motivation was. Instead he apparently read the first line and dressed as a hipster. Having brought his own costume.

                                      And why would he have even been sent the script?
                                      Indeed - but how he ever agreed to that piece of sh*t in the first place is beyond me.

                                      Mind you, he's been whoring himself a fair bit over here just lately.

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                                        The Niro ad is especially painful because the script seems written to hedge against viewers not realising who he is.

                                        I had imagined that he does all the crap, both ads and films, to raise cash for his hotel and restaurant empire but his net worth is supposedly something like $500 million (pre-Covid). The fee for something like the Niro horror can't be that significant a sum to him unless his philosophy is just to grab as much as possible while he can.

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                                          It's big, big money for not a whole lot of work.

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                                            Originally posted by Sporting View Post
                                            In Spanish adverts, experts on the right kind of cleaning product to use in showers, dishwashers and washing machines are invariably men - technicians appearing in kitchens as if by magic - while the "useless" females look on in awe and relief at being told what they've been doing wrong.

                                            Of course, accepting that men can know something about household chores is, from my merely anecdotal evidence, a step too far for far too many women of my acquaintance.

                                            The ads are still rabidly sexist, though.
                                            Whereas in the UK for some years it's, erm, leaned the other way for some time – it's always the men who are utter clueless clodhoppers when anything even remotely 'domestic' is involved, stumbling from one minor crisis to another in a state of sort of radiant incomprehension, until their better half flits into the picture to tidy it up for them with the aid of New WonderProduct! etc.. Which I guess ties into the stereotype evinced by your second paragraph there.

                                            I think this may well have fallen foul of more recent advertising laws however, where nobody can be presented as failing at a task simply by virtue of their gender... which must've meant scrapping an awful lot of advertising campaigns right there.

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                                              Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
                                              Whereas in the UK for some years it's, erm, leaned the other way for some time – it's always the men who are utter clueless clodhoppers when anything even remotely 'domestic' is involved, stumbling from one minor crisis to another in a state of sort of radiant incomprehension, until their better half flits into the picture to tidy it up for them with the aid of New WonderProduct! etc.. Which I guess ties into the stereotype evinced by your second paragraph there.

                                              I think this may well have fallen foul of more recent advertising laws however, where nobody can be presented as failing at a task simply by virtue of their gender... which must've meant scrapping an awful lot of advertising campaigns right there.
                                              However back in the other direction "Mr Muscle" was the male super hero coming to the rescue of stereotypical housewives who weren't scrubbing the worktops hard and fast enough before their husbands got home, or whatever.

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                                                Originally posted by Benjm View Post
                                                The Niro ad is especially painful because the script seems written to hedge against viewers not realising who he is.

                                                I had imagined that he does all the crap, both ads and films, to raise cash for his hotel and restaurant empire but his net worth is supposedly something like $500 million (pre-Covid). The fee for something like the Niro horror can't be that significant a sum to him unless his philosophy is just to grab as much as possible while he can.
                                                He's far from the only one (though certainly one of the biggest) - the bar for stooping to shill for any old shite seems to have disappeared in recent years in Hollywood.

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                                                  Once they have got over the conscience and cringe factors it is, as WOM suggests, money for old rope. The perception of licensing music for ads has also changed in recent years. Once bands used to agonise over it, as with the New Order Sunkist episode. Now, as other income streams have dried up, bands do it and aren't judged harshly because only megastars and veterans who made their pile back in the good old days can afford to dismiss such offers out of hand. I don't know whether Hollywood stars have lost their traditional means of earning to the same degree though.

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                                                    Originally posted by Walt Flanagans Dog View Post

                                                    However back in the other direction "Mr Muscle" was the male super hero coming to the rescue of stereotypical housewives who weren't scrubbing the worktops hard and fast enough before their husbands got home, or whatever.
                                                    Wasn't that the later, badly dubbed CGI, unironically named Mr Muscle though? The original weedy version seemed to be living alone.

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