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    #76
    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    I had to google these Redknapp people and their Thomas Cook advert, and this is what I found.

    http://tinyurl.com/yk9jawj

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      #77
      I've just seen a traumatic advert

      (it's a Talksport spoof)

      (sorry, didn't mean to make this a new post--should have been an edit)

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        #78
        I've just seen a traumatic advert

        I've come to the point where I now cringe as my body contorts in pain when an advert for Boots comes on, because of that fucking song Here Come the Girls (gir-irls, girls, gir-irls, girls, girls girls). As earworms go, it is one of the more deadly ones. It's entire body is covered in sharp spines and poisonous barbs that it uses to lock itself on to your eardrum, destroying your sanity in a similar fashion to tinnitus. This song didn't only bang the final nail into the coffin that held the Sugababes credibility, but filled it full of breezeblocks and then drove it to the nearest harbour, then rented a boat and took it out to the deepest part of the Mid-Atlantic rift valley before tossing it into the dark crushing depths, never to be seen again.
        When Keisha left the Sugababes, she should have done it before they re-hashed and released that tune. At least she would have gone with a reasonable amount of dignity left.

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          #79
          I've just seen a traumatic advert

          Another candidate: that lottery ad where a couple decide to take their clothes off and run into the sea, the voiceover explaining that the ad is 'dedicated' to all those who have the gumption to pay their money every week in order to win bigger sums, although, in reality, I could fucking well pay a life's worth of cash big enough to build a new hospital ward and only see a tenner back. The tone seems to infer that buying a lottery ticket is a bravura act of fearless personal individuality worth celebrating and that those who don't do it are dull bastards who don't deserve joy and happiness in their miserable lives.

          Or maybe I really am a miserable git. It's bloody annoying anyhow.

          BDG: superb stuff.

          Comment


            #80
            I've just seen a traumatic advert

            Ignatz. wrote:
            At least it's not Christmas any more and all those perfume (sorry, fraagraance) ads have stopped. All those dozy looking fuckers finding their own narcissistic gorgeousness thrilling/burdensome/wearying and spending their days chasing kites down streets. The ennui-stricken woman staring into the mirror "I may be looking for something. I may be looking for nothing. I don't know but I'll know when I find it." (If you're looking for nothing, how?)

            Awful, flatulent gusts of pretentiousness. Gah. They all turned into WeightWatchers ads once Christmas was over.
            All perfume ads now make me think of this bit of Lee Mack material...

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              #81
              I've just seen a traumatic advert

              I must admit I've never heard these Halifax radio ads. What's the gist?

              The most annoying adverts on the TV at the moment are the Homebase ones with that fuckawful whistled tune as an accompaniment, although Ant and Dec's Wii commercials run them close.

              Speaking of which, why haven't Nintendo brought out a game where you can run around shooting annoying bastards from adverts? Just think about it - people would gladly pay a small fortune for a "sawn off shotgun" controller, and even more for the opportunity to virtually assassinate Barry from Cillit Bang, the GoCompare opera singer, and Ant and Dec themselves.

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                #82
                I've just seen a traumatic advert

                The Halifax ads take place in a radio studio, with three Halifax 'employees' doing a chatty, breakfast show-type promotion for a free fiver with one of their accounts.

                It goes into an all-singing, all-dancing piece of absolute drivel.

                I hope it is meant ironically, because if not, I have just read a new book named '101 uses of strychnine for advertising executives'.

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                  #83
                  I've just seen a traumatic advert

                  Halifax ad here (sound required for maximum hatred value)

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                    #84
                    I've just seen a traumatic advert

                    I see.

                    I'm not sure whether I should thank you for helping me understand people's contempt for the advert, or flame you for exposing me to such dross.

                    Either way, it's appalling stuff.

                    (thanks, btw)

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                      #85
                      I've just seen a traumatic advert

                      Speaking of sound, that whistly little jingle at the end of McDonald's ads makes me flich and growl like a traumatised collie. I am not musical enough to analyse why, but I really can't bear it - it's better now they no longer sing "I'm loving it" though, but only marginally.

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                        #86
                        I've just seen a traumatic advert

                        blameless wrote:
                        Ant and Dec's Wii commercials
                        Oh for fuck's sake. My beef with the Redknapps doing Thomas Cook was that it was freshly seared onto my eyeballs and eardrum when I started this thread, whereas the Wii ones (not only with Ant & Dec) have been going a lot longer.

                        But yes.

                        They're excruciating. I can't work out what it is that makes me want to smash my father's television to pieces whenever they come on, and I think that is itself the most annoying thing. It might be the fucking goons they choose to put on them, it might be the fact that the whole thing is so obviously staged-yet-pretending-to-be-spontaneous, it might be the fact that even though I know the Wii to be a lot of fun, it's still quite a hard thing to take seriously when they come out with shit like Wii Fit and people actually buy it to keep in shape, rather than just... I don't know... take up actual real-life exercise, for instance.

                        What I mean is, I can see why they're not very good ads, but I can't work out precisely why they set my teeth on edge the way they do. They do it though, however it is.

                        The short-lived bus stop posters were just as bad. There was one featuring our friends Louise and Jamie along with Harry Redknapp and his wife (I assume) all pointing at the camera from their sofa, with Wii controllers (the obvious inference being that the Wii is located more or less where the poster-looker is standing), and the slogan 'Have fun like The Redknapps' or something similar. Same slogan for each of the gurning celebrities who did them, with the names always in bold. It was the imperative I found offensive, the fact that it almost seemed to be telling me to live like them.

                        Comment


                          #87
                          I've just seen a traumatic advert

                          The Guardian 'Hard Sell' column in the Guide touched upon this recently, but any ads, like those for mobile phone networks like T-Mobile, that bring together crowds of people in cities to become 'involved' in giant sing-a-longs and musical jams to create this supposedly happy, warm 'I'd Like To Teach the World To Sing' kind of world that, in principle, sounds a nice vision of a communal musical utopia where happiness reigns.

                          If T-Mobile really wanted to create a world of musical brother and sisterhood then perhaps their board of directors could drop everything and intervene in world affairs, bringing swift ground-breaking solutions to all the world's ills like starvation, climate change, war and terrorism, which would indeed create the environment for a happier world instead of gathering bunches of camera-hogging proletariat joining along with dull bands playing crap songs solely in order to flog their phones.

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                            #88
                            I've just seen a traumatic advert

                            I'd be quite happy if they just turned a machine gun on the bunch of gormless mouth-breathing OMG mother-fuckers as they gathered together for their Bonnie Tyler sing-a-long.

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                              #89
                              I've just seen a traumatic advert

                              ian.64 wrote:
                              Another candidate: that lottery ad where a couple decide to take their clothes off and run into the sea, the voiceover explaining that the ad is 'dedicated' to all those who have the gumption to pay their money every week in order to win bigger sums, although, in reality, I could fucking well pay a life's worth of cash big enough to build a new hospital ward and only see a tenner back. The tone seems to infer that buying a lottery ticket is a bravura act of fearless personal individuality worth celebrating and that those who don't do it are dull bastards who don't deserve joy and happiness in their miserable lives.

                              Or maybe I really am a miserable git. It's bloody annoying anyhow.
                              (Taking my cue from a cartoon strip I saw, the other day...)

                              I think it would be amusing if the couple, just as they were about to run naked into the ocean, were first savaged by a polar bear and then a grizzly bear, demonstrating a sequence of events with (allegedly) the same likelihood of happening as that of winning the lottery.

                              Comment


                                #90
                                I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                Digressing wildly here but it seems the best place for this type of rant.

                                Being forced to watch anything in a cinema that isn't either a film or a trailer is bad enough. Watching adverts in a cinema; even worse (I am a member of that increasingly aged generation that can remember when going to see a movie meant you had to be there on time, you got ONE trailer for what was usually an upcoming Disney or Don Bluth film then you settled in to watch what you had paid to fucking see).

                                But two adverts that ran in Dublin cinemas at the earlier part of the last decade just pushed me over the edge. They played almost exclusively in the Savoy Cinema on O'Connell Street which made me think that the owners of that venerable institution had engaged in a faustian pact of some description before I saw one of the same ads in the Cineworld on Parnell Street a year or so later.

                                Advert One

                                The Scene: A laundrette.
                                A young woman is sitting on a bench in front of one of the machines browsing the personal ads in a paper. Her friend enters and both morosely and melodramatically complain about how hard it is to find a "decent guy" these days. The one reading the paper suddenly stands up - an advert has caught her eye and she starts reading aloud. "A one-woman man. Devoted to you. Holds nothing against you. Will be there for you always and promises eternal love." Each one of these revelations elicits a dreamy sigh of longing from her companion. "Well, what's his name?" she asks, peering over her friend's shoulder to examine the ad. Camera pushes in towards both of them and as they read out the name they both slooooowly look up from the paper so that they finish staring directly at us. "It says... J - E - S - U - S!"

                                A phone number, a website and an incredibly smug voiceover then appears on screen (against a blurred background of our two friends fighting over the paper) informing us how we only need to dial this number or visit this website to learn of Jesus' unending love for us all.

                                I began to choke on own vomit.

                                Advert Two

                                A dark and stormy night (TM). A neon-lit bar in some run down city. A grizzled bartender and a few bored, lonely-looking patrons. At the end of the bar is a glass case, the sort that normally contains desserts, slices of cheesecake, etc. Except this one just has one item - a tub of Flora Margarine (TM). A woman enters the bar looking like Franke Potemke's character in Run, Lola, Run. All eyes on her as if it were a Wild West Saloon. She walks over to the case. Quick cuts establish that everyone, including the violent-looking barman, is watching here. She opens the case and takes out the margerine, pocketing it. She turns and finds the barman blocking her way, looking like a hitman. He rubs his fingers together in the "pay up" gesture. Our heroine has other plans. She somersaults over him and dashes out of the bar like Lara Croft. The patrons and barman look at one another like she just vanished, man.

                                Screen cuts to black. A logo for the margarine appears followed by the slogan "Her strength comes from within."

                                This wasn't played for laughs. But it got them.

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                                  #91
                                  I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                  I can't believe the second one was played straight. No matter what you tell me.

                                  Comment


                                    #92
                                    I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                    There's a gigantic poster of David Cameron next to Finsbury Park tube. It's the most distressing, obnoxious thing I've seen in a public space for a long, long time.

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                                      #93
                                      I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                      Evian's latest one is probably the creepiest thing I've ever seen.

                                      Comment


                                        #94
                                        I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                        So bad, Jurgen, that YouTube told me three times that it couldn't load the video due to a malformed URL (or something) when I clicked your link. I assume it's the babies one. It's both very creepy, and very annoying. The central thrust of it seems to be that people will love it because everyone loves babies.

                                        I don't. They're annoying noisy selfish little shit producers, and the idea of them acting in an adult (or rather teenage) manner is deeply sinister. If that's what Evian does, I'm sticking to Buxton (or, indeed, drinkable tap water).

                                        Comment


                                          #95
                                          I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                          Yes, I've seen it and it is a bit on the creepy side. I think it's one of those ads where the makers of it and the product believe that it'll imprint itself on the mind so much that it can't help but shift units of lovely spring water. It won't. It'll just have people like me spending more time than I should thinking 'what the living fuck is that supposed to be about?'

                                          I'll stick to tap water, thanks.

                                          Comment


                                            #96
                                            I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                            Yep the Evian ad is really fuckin creepy

                                            The Redknapps' Thomas Cock advert is awful on many levels but 2 things that really bug me

                                            They are clearly not on Thomas Cook package holiday. It sure looks like the sort of holiday that (as someone said upthread) they have one of their people arrange for them.

                                            They've used Morcheeba for the music.
                                            A band I've enjoyed for years and now every time I listen to them I'm gonna have a picture of the Redknapps smug faces in my head to spoil it....

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                                              #97
                                              I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                              "There's a gigantic poster of David Cameron next to Finsbury Park tube. It's the most distressing, obnoxious thing I've seen in a public space for a long, long time."

                                              Oh yes, I'm flicking the Vs at that one each and every time I drive past it.

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                                                #98
                                                I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                                That Hallmark advert "dedicated" to that one bloke, telling us all we can personalise cards for people can toss off. It's even worse than that fucking moonpig one that does the same service.

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                                                  #99
                                                  I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                                  There's something odd about those Moonpig ones though. The first time they took out a TV ad I watched it all the way through about five times (not deliberately, I mean it was on during TV I was watching) and was left none the wiser as to what the product was. Nor did I feel motivated to check out their website and find out.

                                                  You've just saved me the effort, Phoebe, so thanks for that.

                                                  Comment


                                                    I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                                    I found an advert I quite like. That Renault Twingo one with the mother and daughter pulling up at lights by a poster of the daughter as a stripper. The model playing the daughter is absolutely stunning and I even like the music (a cheery number by Sporto Kantes). It won't end well; the last advert song I liked led me to buy Pepe Deluxe's album, which wasn't all that.

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