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    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    (what the fuck is going on in 'music...?')

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      I've just seen a traumatic advert

      Squarewheelbike wrote: At least those Halifax radio station ads seemed to have gone!
      There was a brilliant, brilliant thread on the old Everton When Skies Are Grey messageboard inventing backstories for the characters in those Halifax adverts.

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        I've just seen a traumatic advert

        Good to see Greg Wallace regaining his confidence while shedding some weight, courtesy of WeightWatchers. How this will sit with the loveable spoon-licking, jolly-glutton pudding-man image he’s cultivated through Masterchef is anyone’s guess. I also think his pound-shedding is probably more to do with his umpteenth divorce, rather than portion and point control.

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          I've just seen a traumatic advert

          Oh, well played, slightly.

          That Patsy Kensit one does my brain in. 'I have regained my confidence.' You are stunning, but you will marry badly. Do one.

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            I've just seen a traumatic advert

            My wife is getting pretty sick of me shouting "cunts" at the telly when the current Sky TV ad comes on.

            Robert Lindsay and Ruth Somebody-or-Other out of Gavin and Stacy having a gushy lunchtime chat about the productions values of Sky's own output that we are supposed to believe is not in the least bit scripted. The faux sincerity is bad enough, but the shitty cherry on the shitty icing on the whole shitty cake is the closing line..

            I have a friend who has always been very anti-Sky [knowing look], but he said to me the other day, [whispers] "I'm missing out."

            Fuck you, Wolfie Smith. You and your fucking sell-out, Sky adopting mate.

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              I've just seen a traumatic advert

              So: I see Compare the Market have upped their budget. They’ve dispensed with the meercat puppets and replaced them with life-like human ones. The puppetry work is exquisite, however, and a worthy heir to Frank Oz. They even based one of them on that Peep Show chap. Topical. I’ve still no idea what they’re peddling, mind.

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                I've just seen a traumatic advert

                Just For Men's latest advert sees men around the world stopping in the streets, in airports, in the middle of football matches, to watch breaking news on the TV. What could it be - has the president been shot? is a comet about to hit the earth? No, Just For Men have brought out a new type of hair dye that looks more realistic.

                The best bit is at the end. We cut to a desert island as a bottle of the new Just For Men is parachuted down to a castaway with an untidy beard that has quite a lot of white in it. He goes to his knees in celebration because this is what he was hoping for when he saw the plane - not rescue but something that will make him appear younger to all the women made out of volleyballs on the island.

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                  I've just seen a traumatic advert

                  Yes, that's quite magnificent, isn't it? It's as if a concept has been thought up by a group of witty, humorous people who then had it okayed by someone who then had the misfortune to hand it to a production unit staffed by particularly unintelligent men who appeared to see subtlety and imagination as hated enemies that needed to be hunted down and shot.

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                    I've just seen a traumatic advert

                    The new advert for Vauxhall. Sheesh. I can forgive them nicking the Garden State people-blending-in-with-their-backgrounds gag. Even the nasal non-tune isn’t too objectionable, given that it’s solely there to promote foot-tapping as you ogle the stylish, rugged, street-sized SUV. No, it’s that they called this sporty and robust must-have...the Mokka. Coffee with a dash of hot chocolate. Nothing screams a high-octane, pant-stiffening, ozone-wrecker like a dash of soporific nursing-home coco-milk...and you know the “coffee” in their Mokka/mocha is that chicory-based powder that you get from the vending machines at non-accredited driving schools.

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                      I've just seen a traumatic advert

                      I have just seen an advert for VernonsCasinos.com on Dave.

                      I thought they, and their coupon, went bust years ago?

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                        I've just seen a traumatic advert

                        The Paddy Power Tennis ad. I realise that one ought to tune all Paddy Power ads out, as the company is a shower of bastards, but this one is on every other sodding commerical break on Eurosport. It has all the sneery shittiness one would expect of that particular bookmaker.

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                          I've just seen a traumatic advert

                          Oh, and not traumatic, but does anyone else find the recent run of McDonalds adverts a little odd?
                          Bloke or woman is extremely late for something important. But that is OK because getting stuck in a queue for whatever they have bought is justified by its cheap price. Right... but aren't you meant to be fast food? Showing that it takes ages and disrupts your day is basically the opposite of your main selling point.

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                            I've just seen a traumatic advert

                            The Seat advert with the acapella version of Fleetwood Mac's Don't Stop takes weedy singer-songwriter soundtracking to a new low.

                            Aca-frigging-pella. The Mac didn't obliterate their septums for this to happen.

                            Where does OTF stand on the word 'acapella', btw. Is 'a cappella' preferred?

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                              I've just seen a traumatic advert

                              The Seat advert with the acapella version of Fleetwood Mac's Don't Stop takes weedy singer-songwriter soundtracking to a new low.

                              Indeed. A stark reminder for me to carry around a baseball bat lest I meet any guitar-wielding twerp with a teeth-gritting line in musical fragility.

                              The Lucozade Sport ad set in a gym, proving that it's 'better than water'. Well, bollocks to water (which Lucozade is, but with fruity chemical additives in it), bring on the dystopian Idiocracy version of the future, where chemically-altered moistness spurts from drinking fountains ("it's got electrolytes!"). Next, two sets of housewives sit in a living room, with one half smiling with pleasure as they breathe in nothing but Fabreze Forest Berries air freshener, while the other cough up their lungs after taking in that fart-standard shitcloud called 'air'.

                              I never knew that water could be classified as so bad that a sports drink had to be 'better' than it. 'It's got sodium benzonate in it - in your face, H2O!'

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                                I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                ha-ha - totally. That said, the orange stuff is rather good for when one is sporting a Olympic-sized hangover. I don’t think that fits in with the company’s ethos, though. I guess the Mo Farrah hand-on-head-thing© could be adapted to some sort of road-side, drink-drive test-of-coordination ad – with hilarious consequences. But then I don’t condone that sort of thing either.

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                                  I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                  Following on from the gambling ones upthread, Shane Warne is currently advertising an online poker site. A major selling point is apparently the site's 3D graphics, without which you presumably don't get the full experience of playing a game involving flat pieces of card.

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                                    I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                    That Robert Lindsay ad for sky referred to earlier is indeed a thing of horror. It's so well made it feels like propaganda.

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                                      I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                      I don't know if it's traumatic, but the new Saniflo advert - complete with badly chosen voiceover accents - makes me laugh like a buffoon. I think I may need help.

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                                        I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                        Toby Gymshorts wrote: I don't know if it's traumatic, but the new Saniflo advert - complete with badly chosen voiceover accents - makes me laugh like a buffoon. I think I may need help.
                                        I want to know what language the advert was originally recorded in for reasons so mundane that I daren't share them.

                                        French, I'm guessing.

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                                          I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                          Nocturnal Submission wrote:
                                          Originally posted by Toby Gymshorts
                                          I don't know if it's traumatic, but the new Saniflo advert - complete with badly chosen voiceover accents - makes me laugh like a buffoon. I think I may need help.
                                          I want to know what language the advert was originally recorded in for reasons so mundane that I daren't share them.

                                          French, I'm guessing.
                                          Nah, it comes from that weird subsection of EU-orientated adverts. The characters lips move, but they don’t actually say any meaningful words. That way it can be used in all languages. I bet you Spanish/Italian/Dutch/whatever audiences are just as baffled/amused as we are. As for the Saniflo ones, I’ve never seen a woman act so joyously at the prospect of being able to sh1t in her own garage. I mean, she practically hi-fives the ‘flo guy when he tells her.

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                                            I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                            Well done to Butlins for jumping on the "Trololo" internet meme that was doing the rounds getting on for a year ago, really got your finger on the pulse there, why not do some Olympic themed ads whilst you're at it?

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                                              I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                              As for the Saniflo ones, I’ve never seen a woman act so joyously at the prospect of being able to shit in her own garage. I mean, she practically hi-fives the ‘flo guy when he tells her.

                                              I'm very glad I wasn't drinking tea or coffee at that point as I would've sprayed it at a foot's radius if I had. Many thanks for cheering me up, Stumpy. Yes, I was a bit curious about that, and also I tip the hat to Saniflo's attempt to nick the Ferrero Rocher Award for the Best 'Is It Supposed To be That Bad Or Do They Really Mean It?' Advertising Enterprise of the Year.

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                                                I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                                Just as a point of order, and having seen it again last night, the woman is overjoyed at the prospect of being able to shit in her walk-in wardrobe.

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                                                  I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                                  Stop it. My fellow co-worker is wondering why I'm chuckling like a prat.

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                                                    I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                                    I mean, she could have done it anyway. It's her wardrobe. How do we know the entire thing isn't predicated on the unseen partner of this woman insisting that they have a toilet installed, just to stop her defecating into his / her favourite loafers?

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