I've just seen a traumatic advert

[Toby Gymshorts]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Yet another incarnation of the Go Compare ad which again makes me want to CHEW OFF MY OWN FUCKING EARS.

[Gerontophile]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

(not the one with the twat + female singer who cant hit the high note at the end?)

[Sean of the Shed]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

I'd imagine it's the even newer one, 1,000,000 years bc style, with the twat descending in the claws of a pteradactyl done with a heavy metal vibe.

[Toby Gymshorts]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

That's the one, Sean.

I hope everyone involved in the conception and execution of the Go Compare ads, however tangentially, meets with a fitting demise.

[Toby Gymshorts]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Being carried off by a hungry Pterodactyl, for instance.

[Arturo]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

I've never sat through a whole 'Go Compare' ad. I don't think I've ever been made so consistently angry by an advert ever before and I know for a fact I'd never use their fucking website either!

Also, despite the fact I like Stephen Merchant, I can't get on with those Barclays ads that he narrates. They just sound a little...smug.

[evilC]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Arturo wrote:

Also, despite the fact I like Stephen Merchant, I can't get on with those Barclays ads that he narrates. They just sound a little...smug.

Is that him? I thought it was Tom Ford. You know - the beardy biker one from Fifth Gear.

[Janik]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Apropos of not much, as it's been out for months, but the Getafe CF/suicidal Koala ad qualifies for this thread, I think. Not because its insanely annoying or an insult to ones intelligence like many of the others referenced, but because watching a fairly convincing anamatronic Koala attempting suicide is not somthing I ever wanted to see. Bleak.

[ian.64]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

The new Phones 4 U advert with a ghostly girl suddenly popping up to frighten a woman in her car and flog a bloody phone at the same time. Crap control set at maximum.

[Gerontophile]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Quite a good one on ESPN (not actually advertising anything other than ESPN):

Landon Donovan dressed in his LA Galaxy kit, is trying to use the ESPN office photocopier. It isnt working. He kicks the photocopier, which begins to work, and prints out a yellow card.

[Arturo]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

evilC wrote:

Arturo wrote:

Also, despite the fact I like Stephen Merchant, I can't get on with those Barclays ads that he narrates. They just sound a little...smug.

Is that him? I thought it was Tom Ford. You know - the beardy biker one from Fifth Gear.

Definitely Stephen Merchant. I know he's taking the piss in the adverts but they still irritate me for some reason. Perhaps because I hate banking ads in general.

[Gerontophile]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

or, perhaps he is pretending to be a cunt in those adverts.

I have no overall impression of the person concerned, but I fucking hate those adverts (and his supposed, sideways remarks about what he is narrating for a vast amount of your money. Which doesnt make HIM a cnut, necessarily. I dont hate Julie Walters, eg, but I would rather we had our money back thanks.)

Thank Daw, that I dont bank with the Halifax (although technically I do, or did, thanks to 'Leeds' being so good at it) as I dont have to spend time thinking of ways to shove that broken mug up... well, you see where I am going with this...

[Gerontophile]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

That Koala advert is one of the funniest things I have seen in years.

I saw a translation of what the floopy-eared genius was saying, but it didnt fit. If you support Getafe, you will have a shit life... something like that? You may as well kill yourself now?

Thats cool. Go Getafe and the Goth outlook. Although, go south, to Malaga. We can lend you a fiver. And you will get a suntan.

[Janik]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

It was released in June, i.e. as last season had just ended, and the aim was to try and get people renewing their season tickets. The 'logic' is along the lines of life is empty without football. But don't fret, it will be back soon!

[Sam]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Gerontophile wrote:

Quite a good one on ESPN (not actually advertising anything other than ESPN):

Landon Donovan dressed in his LA Galaxy kit, is trying to use the ESPN office photocopier. It isnt working. He kicks the photocopier, which begins to work, and prints out a yellow card.

Ah, we get that one here as well, along with some other spots for SportsCenter which are on similar lines. I agree, I quite like the Donovan one.

I've just watched the Getafe ad and it's insanely brilliant. Although how I'm going to sleep after seeing it, I'm not sure...

[Gerontophile]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Do you get the 'Lincecum' one also? I like that too. It seems that ESPN have a sense of humor...

[Sam]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

I'm not sure which one that is. We got ones that were variations on the Donovan one; an office environment in the ESPN studios, with a famous sportsman (or in one of them, a team mascot of some sort) turning up in the normal working environment. I liked all of them, but the Donovan one was my favourite.

[evilC]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Did Jarvis Cocker just say "...totally badboy beat"?!?

Well, that's him off my stalking list!

My *nice* stalking list, that is!

[VTTBoscombe]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Well, I am not sure it's an advert; but it was traumatic.
Manchester United players on Turkish Airlines - not the weak one where Van der Nose saves Sir Bobby from a Rooney shot; but actually a filmed safety announcement shown on the airplane , with various squad members japing about.

Now , airline security, safety is a serious thing, or so you would think; but with "Manchester United superstars" Darren Fletcher, Wayne Rooney, Nani, Fabio and Rafael("or is it the other way around? the voice over jokingly asks), you wouldn't think so.
Now I love Turkish Airlines, usually , the food is great , there seems more space and it has always treated me well; but this has worried me greatly.

God knows what will happen if there is a need to find the life jacket, and look for the exit - I will be busy looking if Fabio or Rafael (or is it the other way around?)were about to help me rather than getting the hell out.

Going home tomorrow so I will try and ignore it. (but maybe I should just watch it to be sure I know where the exits are again....)

EDIT - The return flight was even worse with, a very loud Turkish version, I tried to stick my (unconnected) earbuds into my ears as far as I could and avert my eyes. So I still don't know where the exits are.
One extra point I forgot Chris Smalling was another Manchester United "superstar".

[Eggchaser]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

ian.64 wrote:

The new Phones 4 U advert with a ghostly girl suddenly popping up to frighten a woman in her car and flog a bloody phone at the same time. Crap control set at maximum.

Christ, yes. What were they thinking? It's like the brief for a Road Safety infomercial got mixed into the Phones 4 U account.

[Sam]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Just looked that one up on YouTube. And what the fuck is it with whispering the fucking taglines on so many ads? Seems to have died down a bit now (although this Phones4U one reminded me of it), but a couple of years ago absolutely bloody everyone was doing it. Why? It's infuriating.

[ian.64]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

I'm going to go out soon and get myself a bottle or two of Armani Code. Don't know why. It may possibly be because of those ads where tuxedoed, good-looking men wrap themselves around Gemma Arterton lookalikes in those smoothly photographed, slo-mo slickathons where everything is night and the air is sultry and where the evening throbs with mystique and a searing passion that always simmers and never explodes.

Or maybe they just show the usual old gubbins where every man's/woman's fragrance must have the same old shit: chiselled blokes faffing about in the sea/smimming pool while demonstrating their six-packs, smooth-skinned women looking enigmatically into the camera while flapping about in luxurious dresses, that afore-mentioned air of mystique or the fact that everything must be in frickin' slow-motion, so much so that I fear that if I plonked on a smattering of Hugo Boss I'd miss two buses on the trot due to the fact I was walking as if stuck in a massive jar of invisible Swarfega.

It's not that such adverts for fragrances are jaw-droppingly bad or shabby - at their worst they're hugely banal and pretentious in their supposed stylishness - it's just that the pain in watching them comes in two forms. The usual gubbins I've already outlined above, and the easy-money feel of the samey, regurgitated concepts that always comes with them. To promote a fragrance everything must be slo-mo mystique with attractive models attached. Money banked.

Bloody hell. Even the Milk Tray man gave you a bit more value when he dived into shark-infested waters to deliver a box of chocs. He could have had them delivered by post or simply driven there, but he did things the hard way. Nip off to supermarket first then jump in the Med, wrestle killer shark with designs on your Coffee Creams, punch the bugger out and then surprise your girlfriend with a box of chocs while standing there with bitemarks in your thighs.

Now that's advertising.

[evilC]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

ian.64 wrote:

It's not that such adverts for fragrances are jaw-droppingly bad or shabby - at their worst they're hugely banal and pretentious in their supposed stylishness...

There was an American spoof advert, a few years back, for a perfume called 'Pretentious'. Sadly, I can't find it online, though I know it used to be. I can't be sure if the perfume was ever actually made.

[ian.64]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

Would've been nice if it was, then at least the wholesale high-falutin' nature of how they're conveyed in ads would've been acknowledged.

It's the same with car ads. When you see the umpteenth ad where the latest boxy-wheely-thing sleekly trundles along autumnal landscapes with a contented handsome male at the wheel (why can't you have fat blokes driving them?), you feel that there's an ad-man somewhere having it pretty easy while his bank balance soars upwards.

But then, my cynicism about ads has tripled quite a lot when reading Private Eye's Ad Nauseum column that shows ad agencies either purvey lax ideas in crap adverts, re-use ideas from ads past, or nick concepts wholesale from YouTube - the latter demonstrated in that car insurance ad where punters initially outraged by finding a traffic warden putting parking tickets on their windscreens find they contain tenners.

[Eggchaser]

I've just seen a traumatic advert

evilC wrote:

ian.64 wrote:

It's not that such adverts for fragrances are jaw-droppingly bad or shabby - at their worst they're hugely banal and pretentious in their supposed stylishness...

There was an American spoof advert, a few years back, for a perfume called 'Pretentious'. Sadly, I can't find it online, though I know it used to be. I can't be sure if the perfume was ever actually made.

They may have pinched that from the opening credits to the fourth season of A Bit of Fry and Laurie.