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    Old book, new author

    Little Women by Theresa May Alcott - Amy, Beth, Jo and Meg dream of being strong and stable, but their meticulous aspirations always go slightly awry.

    #2
    Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Waldheim - Billy Pilgrim and every other prisoner gets executed by the SS, it's covered up so that the author can have a political career.

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      #3
      Pride & Prejudice by Irvine Welsh. At their first meeting, the Bennet sisters and their mum all get off their tits on opium with Mr. Darcy and end up riding his cock for three days solid. In revenge, Mr. Bennet nicks Darcy's opium stash and tries to flog it at his boozer in Pemberley, but ends up in a sweary drunken fight with the psychotic Mr. Wickham after the latter relieves an innocent tourist up for the day from London of his canvas, paint-brush and easel. Elizabeth 'Sick-Chick' Bennet comes to realise that her prejudice against Mr. Darcy for being an opium dealer is irrelevant due to her now being an addict, so she lets him become her pimp in order to fuel her habit, in which she has great pride because all her sisters always said she was too fucking dull and strait-laced by half. Everyone lives happily ever after in Pemberley, which has become a popular refuge for syphilitic dealers, whores, pimps and junkies. Except for Mr. Bennet, who does a runner to Amsterdam and makes a living by re-enacting Archie Gemmell's goal against Holland at the 1978 World Cup.

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        #4
        Slightly different premise, but this thread reminds me of Alan Bennett's Alien - one of the all time great OTF posts.

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